#i dont know why i chose such a small canvas

[sadlittledib]

[songbirdseung]

younger / choi beomgyu

song recommendation: younger by ruel

non-idol!beomgyu ~ childhood friends to lovers? ~ angst / wc: 4k

(dont be a silent reader, comment and let me know what you think about the story~~)

You and Beomgyu would roam the nighttime streets together, hidden from the watchful eyes of unaware parents. The glow of the television, coupled with the stubborn persistence of bedroom lights, painted a canvas of secrets. Yet, it's been ages since you last crossed paths, the innocence that once bound you together seemingly lost in the labyrinth of time. Beomgyu's absence left you in a void, the shadows deepening as he disappeared into the darkness of a park, a departure marking the irreversible shift in the dynamics of your relationship. The echoes of those nights linger, but the connection you once shared now stands as a mere silhouette of what it used to be—forever altered, and, regrettably, never to be the same again.

At the tender age of eleven, he departed without a trace, leaving you without farewells or explanations. In the quiet of the night, both sets of parents chose not to awaken you, and when dawn broke, your innocent request for a playdate with Beomgyu was met with the somber gazes of your own parents. They delivered the heart-wrenching news that he had relocated to another city, and in that moment, at the age of eleven, you found yourself mourning the abrupt loss of a best friend of nine years.

In the soft morning light that filtered through your bedroom curtains, you excitedly approached your parents with the anticipation of a playdate with Beomgyu. The sparkle in your eyes dimmed, however, as you were met with the unusual solemnity that hung heavy in the air.

"Mom, Dad, can Beomgyu come over today? We were going to play our favorite game," you asked, innocence radiating from your hopeful gaze.

Your parents exchanged a glance, their expressions reflecting a shared sorrow. Taking a deep breath, your mother knelt down to your eye level, her eyes carrying a weight that spoke of difficult news.

"Sweetheart," she began, her voice gentle yet laced with sadness, "Beomgyu has moved away to another city."

Your eyes widened, confusion clouding your face. "Moved away? But… why? He didn't even say goodbye."

Your father joined the conversation, crouching down beside you. "It happened late last night, and we didn't want to wake you. Your friend had to leave without saying goodbye, and we're so sorry, sweetheart."

A mixture of disbelief and aching sorrow settled over you. "But he's my best friend. Why didn't he tell me? Will he come back?"

Your mother wrapped you in a comforting embrace, her words soft as she explained, "Sometimes, people have to move for different reasons, and it's not always easy for them to say goodbye. We know how much Beomgyu means to you, and we're here for you, okay?"

You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. The room that once echoed with laughter from shared adventures now felt empty, the absence of your dearest friend creating a void that seemed impossible to fill. As your parents held you close, the pain of losing Beomgyu settled into your young heart, and the innocence of childhood faced its first encounter with the bittersweet sting of change.

-- beomgyu's pov --

Beomgyu stirred from a restless sleep, the hum of the car engine and the rhythmic pattern of streetlights flickering through the window casting an eerie glow. Disoriented and sleepy-eyed, he sat up, rubbing his eyes as he glanced around the dim interior of the car.

"Where are we going?" he asked innocently, the excitement of a family trip bubbling in his voice.

His parents exchanged a glance, and his mother turned to him with a warm smile that held a hint of sadness. "Oh, it's just a small trip, sweetheart. A surprise for you and the family."

Beomgyu's eyes lit up, and a grin spread across his face. "Really? That's awesome! Can't wait to see where we're going. Is Y/N coming too? I want to show them all the cool places!"

His parents shared a glance laden with a poignant understanding, their smiles masking a deeper sadness. "Ah, Y/N couldn't make it this time, but we'll take lots of pictures to share with them when we get back."

Undeterred, Beomgyu leaned back in the seat, his mind already racing with plans for the adventure ahead. "Sure, sure! I'll tell Y/N all about it when we're back. They'll be so jealous they missed out!"

His parents exchanged another look, a silent acknowledgment of the weight behind the words. As the car continued its journey through the night, Beomgyu's innocent excitement filled the space, unaware that the small trip he anticipated was a journey that would reshape the landscape of his life, leaving Y/N and the familiar streets behind in a bittersweet memory.

-- later, beomgyu's pov --

The car's engine sputtered to a stop as the first rays of dawn painted the sky. Beomgyu squinted at the unfamiliar surroundings, confusion etching his features as he realized they hadn't arrived at a hotel as expected, but at a house. His parents exchanged glances, an unspoken acknowledgment of the truth that had yet to be revealed.

As the car doors opened, Beomgyu caught sight of the numerous suitcases and boxes piled in the trunk — more luggage than any ordinary trip would require. A knot of realization tightened in his stomach, the pieces clicking into place like a puzzle he hadn't been prepared to solve.

"Mom, Dad, why did you lie to me?" Beomgyu's voice trembled as he confronted the truth, tears welling in his eyes.

His parents exchanged somber looks, the weight of their decision evident in their expressions. His mother crouched down to his eye level, her voice gentle but tinged with sorrow.

"Sweetheart, we didn't want to upset you. It's just that… we're not going back home this time. This is our new house," she explained, her words hanging heavy in the air.

Beomgyu's eyes widened, the weight of the revelation sinking in. "What do you mean, not going back home? What about my friends? What about Y/N?" His voice quivered, the fear of losing the world he knew becoming too real.

His father placed a hand on his shoulder, attempting to comfort him. "We know it's a lot to take in, Beomgyu. This is a new beginning for us. You'll make new friends, and Y/N will always be a part of your life, even if you're far away."

But the reassurances fell on ears deafened by the ache of change. Beomgyu felt the tears spill over, his heart heavy with the weight of leaving behind the familiar, the friends, and the home he loved. As the reality of the situation settled in, his small shoulders shook with the grief of a chapter ending, and the uncertainty of a new one beginning.

-- months later --

Months passed in the new city, and Beomgyu found himself navigating a different life. The bustling streets, unfamiliar faces, and new routines became the backdrop to his days. His heart yearned for the familiar comfort of the old neighborhood, especially the laughter and shared adventures with you.

Late at night, under the soft glow of a borrowed phone, he'd send short messages, tapping out words of longing. "Miss you. Wish you were here," he'd type, his heart pouring into each letter. The response, when it came, was a fleeting connection to the world he left behind. The distance stretched in both miles and melancholy, and he'd find himself staring at the moon, wondering if you were doing the same.

In the town left behind, you adjusted to a life that seemed to echo with the absence of Beomgyu. The familiar haunts became bittersweet reminders, each corner holding memories of laughter and shared secrets. The longing for your friend filled your days, coloring the mundane with a tinge of melancholy.

The borrowed phone became a lifeline, a precious connection to the friend who now felt galaxies away. "Hey, how's it going there?" you'd text, fingers tapping out words that carried the weight of missing someone. The brief exchanges were a lifeline, moments of solace in the midst of change.

The conversations were small, sporadic, and filled with the silent understanding that this was the best they could manage. "Remember the treehouse? I found a cool park here too," Beomgyu typed, trying to bridge the gap.

"I went to the movies last week. Missed having you there," you replied, the longing evident in the simple words.

Through these fragments of connection, a shared sentiment emerged — the ache of separation and the hope that someday, the miles that kept them apart would lessen, and they'd find themselves under the same moon again. The small texts became the threads that kept their friendship stitched together across the expanse that now lay between them.

--

The soft glow of the moon seeped through Beomgyu's bedroom window, casting a melancholy ambiance on the walls. Sulking in the quiet confines of his room, he couldn't shake the weight of homesickness that clung to him like a shadow. The dinner table downstairs, once a place of familial warmth, seemed like a world away.

His mother, attuned to the echoes of her son's melancholy, gently tapped on the door. "Beomgyu, sweetheart, dinner's ready. Won't you come down and join us?"

A muffled response, barely audible through the closed door, betrayed his disheartened state.

His mother sighed softly before stepping into the room. The soft glow of the bedside lamp revealed Beomgyu, curled up on the bed, a world of longing etched into his eyes.

She sat beside him, offering a tender smile. "What's on your mind, my love?"

His gaze remained fixed on the distant horizon outside the window as he whispered, "I miss home, Mom. I miss Y/N, and I miss everything."

Her heart ached for him. Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, she said, "Change is hard, Beomgyu. I know it feels like everything's different now, but you're strong, and we'll get through this together. Dinner is waiting, but if you need some time, I understand."

His mother's understanding touch was a balm to his soul. Beomgyu turned to her, the vulnerability in his eyes reflecting the depth of his homesickness. "I just wish things could go back to how they were."

She pulled him into a warm embrace, whispering words of comfort. "I know, sweetheart. I know. Let's take it one day at a time, and who knows, maybe one day it will feel like home here too."

With a gentle squeeze, she left the room, allowing Beomgyu a moment to collect himself. The dinner table downstairs awaited, but in that fleeting moment, the warmth of his mother's embrace offered a comforting reassurance in the face of the unfamiliar world that now surrounded him.

-- years later, y/n's pov --

The years rolled by, carrying Beomgyu and Y/N into the realm of adolescence. In the beginning, the smartphones they now possessed became the conduits of their connection, trading messages filled with nostalgia, sharing snippets of their evolving lives. The threads of shared memories were woven into the digital conversations, creating a semblance of the camaraderie they once knew.

However, the inevitable currents of change started to pull them in different directions. New friendships blossomed, and the demands of their individual lives grew, leaving less room for the virtual bridge that once connected them. The exchanges became sporadic, a casual update here and there, their lives gradually filling with new faces and experiences.

Busy schedules and the excitement of forging fresh connections took precedence, and the once vibrant bond between Beomgyu and Y/N began to fray. The messages, once filled with the intimacy of shared memories, became sporadic echoes in a digital landscape that stretched between them.

As the years unfurled, the digital bridge that once connected them morphed into a mere echo of the past. The cadence of their lives, now pulsating with the rhythms of adulthood, left less space for the nostalgic conversations that once fueled their friendship. The bond, though not forgotten, transformed into a distant echo, fading in the background of the bustling lives they now led.

Y/N found herself standing on the precipice of an emotional crossroads. The once inseparable bond she shared with Beomgyu had become a delicate thread, and she desperately tried to hold on to the fragments of what they used to be. The shared laughter, the whispered secrets, and the warmth of their friendship seemed like distant echoes, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

"You and me were so, so close," she whispered to the quiet confines of her room, the weight of the words echoing in the silence. The ache of the growing distance between them pierced through her heart, a poignant reminder of what once was.

She had tried, oh, how she had tried. Late-night texts and calls filled with the essence of nostalgia were her attempts to salvage the connection that meant so much. But the responses were intermittent, the vibrancy of their conversations replaced by the echoes of unspoken distance.

And maybe that's what hurt the most—the realization that despite her efforts, the bond was slipping away. The fear she had harbored for years was materializing, and the once vivid landscape of their friendship was now a fading canvas.

"It's out of my hands," she admitted with a heavy sigh, as if confessing the truth to herself. The currents of life had taken them in different directions, and there was only so much she could do to alter the course.

"I've done what I can," she whispered, the weight of acceptance settling on her shoulders. The battle against the growing distance felt like an uphill struggle, leaving her with a sense of helplessness.

"So I just save my breath," she concluded, the resolve to hold on giving way to a bittersweet acknowledgment. The breaths she once saved for laughter, secrets, and shared dreams were now exhaled into the void of the changing winds. Yet, amidst the melancholy, a glimmer of gratitude remained—a gratitude for the moments they once shared and the indelible mark Beomgyu had left on her heart.

-- beomgyu's pov --

Beomgyu's phone buzzed once again, signaling another message from Y/N. He retrieved it from his pocket, eyes briefly flickering over the notification. The number of unread messages had reached a daunting 20, each one representing a fragment of a connection he once cherished.

Sighing, he pocketed the phone, the weight of the unread messages settling into the fabric of his jeans. The conversations with his new friends resumed, laughter and banter flowing effortlessly. Soobin, Yeonjun, Huening Kai, and Taehyun became the focal points of his attention, their camaraderie echoing the dynamics he had found within this new circle.

Yet, beneath the surface, there lingered a subtle pang of guilt. He couldn't shake the awareness that Y/N's messages remained unanswered, a stark testament to the growing gap between them. The bond that once defined his world had become a distant memory, replaced by the vibrant energy of his current friendships.

As Beomgyu laughed and shared stories with his newfound companions, the buzzing phone in his pocket seemed to carry the echoes of a connection slipping away. The unread messages represented unspoken sentiments, a conversation that had faded into the background of the bustling life he now led. And with each passing moment, the distance grew, leaving Y/N's messages unanswered in the wake of the evolving chapters of Beomgyu's life.

The laughter of Beomgyu and his friends echoed through the room as they gathered for a casual hangout. Soobin, Yeonjun, Huening Kai, and Taehyun were all there, their camaraderie filling the space with warmth. However, beneath the surface of the banter, Beomgyu carried the weight of unspoken concerns that had been haunting him.

"So, guys," Beomgyu began hesitantly, a hint of vulnerability in his tone. "There's been something on my mind lately."

The room fell into a comfortable silence as his friends turned their attention to him, their expressions shifting from playful to attentive.

"What's up, Beomgyu?" Soobin asked, concern evident in his eyes.

Beomgyu took a moment before continuing, "It's just… I've been feeling kind of guilty about not keeping in touch with someone important to me. We used to be really close, but life happened, and now it's like we're drifting apart."

Yeonjun chimed in, "Is it someone from back home? Your childhood friend?"

Beomgyu nodded, grateful for the understanding in his friends' eyes. "Yeah, Y/N. We were inseparable, but now it feels like we're worlds apart. I've been avoiding their messages, and it's been bothering me."

Huening Kai leaned forward, offering a comforting smile. "It happens, Beomgyu. People change, and life takes us in different directions. It's natural to feel conflicted about it."

Taehyun added, "Maybe you should talk to them about it. It might help clear the air, and who knows, you might find a way to reconnect."

Soobin nodded in agreement. "Communication is key. If they mean a lot to you, they'll understand. And if not, at least you'll have closure."

Beomgyu sighed, a mix of gratitude and apprehension in his expression. "You guys are right. I've just been struggling with how to approach it. I don't want to hurt them or make things awkward."

Yeonjun placed a reassuring hand on Beomgyu's shoulder. "Take your time, but don't let it eat at you. True friends understand, and if they're meant to be in your life, they'll find their way back."

The room fell into a thoughtful silence as Beomgyu absorbed the advice of his friends. The weight on his shoulders felt a bit lighter, knowing he had a support system to lean on. As they continued their hangout, the unspoken understanding between the friends became a source of comfort in navigating the complexities of evolving relationships.

In the quiet hours of the night, Beomgyu found himself alone with his thoughts. The conversation with his friends lingered in his mind, urging him to confront the unease that had been haunting him. With a mix of determination and trepidation, he decided to reach out to Y/N.

He pulled out his phone, fingers hovering over the touchscreen. After a moment's hesitation, he dialed Y/N's number, memories of their countless conversations flooding back. As the dial tone resonated, his heart raced with anticipation.

However, instead of the familiar voice he hoped to hear, an automated system responded. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service."

A wave of disappointment and realization washed over Beomgyu. The connection, once a lifeline between them, had dissolved into the void of disconnected lines. The reality of the situation hit him harder than he expected, and he felt a lump forming in his throat.

He stared at the screen, grappling with the finality of the automated message. The untold words he had been holding back seemed to echo in the silence of the room. Beomgyu was left with the weight of unspoken conversations and the stark reality that the bridge connecting them had crumbled.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, the phone still in his hand. The ache of missed opportunities and lingering questions lingered in the air. In that solitary moment, Beomgyu found himself grappling with the bittersweet truth — that some connections, no matter how meaningful, were destined to fade into the echoes of what once was.

-- y/n's pov --

Deep in my heart, I felt the subtle ache of something irretrievable. The bond that once defined Beomgyu and me seemed to have reached its twilight, leaving behind an unspoken void. His number, once etched into the fabric of my contacts, now felt like a distant memory, and with a heavy heart, I decided to let go.

I knew that it's over, the unspoken chapters of our friendship sealed within the folds of time. The laughter, the shared secrets, and the camaraderie we once held dear now echoed in the corridors of nostalgia.

Deleted your number – a choice made with the reluctant acceptance that some connections were destined to dissolve. The mere absence of those digits felt like erasing a chapter of my history, a chapter that held the echoes of a friendship now lost in the folds of growing up.

So I can't call you, I thought, acknowledging the deliberate choice to distance myself. The yearning for the conversations that once filled the nights lingered, but the awareness that those calls had become echoes of a bygone era weighed heavily on my heart.

As the chapters turned, I couldn't help but wonder how we arrived at this point. The unspoken words hung in the air, carrying the weight of a friendship that had silently evolved into something unrecognizable. And as I navigated the complexities of growing up, the bittersweet realization settled in – some connections, no matter how cherished, were destined to evolve into wistful memories.

-- years later --

At the age of 22, Beomgyu and Y/N found themselves engulfed in the currents of life, their paths diverging with each passing day. The once inseparable bond that defined their younger years had become a distant memory, fading into the background of their individual journeys.

Life's demands, new friendships, and evolving priorities led them in directions that seemed worlds apart. The sporadic messages that once bridged the growing distance had become echoes in the expanse that now lay between them. The phone numbers, once etched into each other's contacts with familiarity, were now just digits in a sea of connections.

Beomgyu navigated the bustling waves of adulthood, his focus on the present and future. The laughter and camaraderie of his new friends became the soundtrack of his days, the memories of childhood adventures and shared secrets relegated to the recesses of nostalgia.

Y/N, too, carved their own path, facing the challenges and triumphs that adulthood presented. The places, faces, and experiences that defined their current lives seemed far removed from the shared landscapes of their past.

--

Y/N found themselves wandering through familiar streets, the city lights casting a glow on the pavement. The purpose of their visit was business, but amidst the meetings and obligations, a sudden wave of nostalgia led them to stroll through the old neighborhood where Beomgyu and they once shared countless memories.

On one of those down-time nights after work, Y/N decided to explore a local spot known for its charm. As they entered the venue, the familiar ambiance felt like a subtle echo from the past. And then, amidst the crowd, Y/N's eyes caught a glimpse of a figure that seemed vaguely familiar.

Squinting through the dim lights, trying to place the face. The realization struck, and a subtle gasp escaped their lips. There, in the midst of the crowd, was Beomgyu – someone they once knew so intimately but now felt like a stranger.

"I didn't even recognize you," Y/N admitted quietly, the passage of time etched on Beomgyu's features. The realization brought a strange mix of emotions – surprise, nostalgia, and an unspoken acknowledgment of the changes life had wrought upon them.

The atmosphere felt charged with the weight of unexpected encounters. Y/N couldn't help but find it kind of strange – the twist of fate that brought them to the same place at the same time, after years of drifting apart.

"Guess that people change," Y/N murmured, watching Beomgyu from a distance. The recognition was met with a pang of melancholy, a subtle mourning for the innocence of the past.

"But I didn't expect you to," they concluded, a quiet lament for the evolution of a connection that once felt unbreakable. In that moment, amidst the city lights and the gentle hum of the crowd, Y/N grappled with the unspoken complexity of seeing someone from their past in a new light.

Peeling her eyes away from Beomgyu, Y/N decided to immerse herself in the present moment, determined to enjoy her time in the city. As she glanced around, she noticed a friendly face beside her, and without hesitation, struck up a conversation with the person seated next to her – Taehyun.

Unbeknownst to both Y/N and Taehyun, the threads of their conversation began to weave together seamlessly. They laughed, shared stories, and delved into topics that transcended the boundaries of the past. It was a delightful encounter, the kind that happens serendipitously in the dance of city life.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu, scanning the room in search of Taehyun, couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation. When his eyes finally landed on them, shock flickered across his face. He saw Y/N engaged in a lively conversation with Taehyun, a person he least expected her to be with.

For a moment, Beomgyu stood frozen, the realization sinking in. The person Y/N was conversing with wasn't just a stranger in this city; it was Taehyun, his friend. The friend who, unbeknownst to both of them, had become a part of this unexpected reunion.

The air crackled with unspoken emotions as Beomgyu navigated the currents of surprise and curiosity. His mind raced, contemplating whether he should approach and reveal the unspoken connections that lingered in the shadows of their past.

-- the next day --

The following day brought another unexpected encounter as Y/N found themselves in the same professional sphere as Beomgyu. Their respective companies were connecting, intertwining their professional worlds in a way that seemed almost fated. As the meetings progressed, the air buzzed with a tension that transcended the confines of business discussions.

Amidst the corporate chatter, Y/N and Beomgyu found themselves in the same room once again. The air was thick with unspoken history, the echoes of their past converging with the realities of the present. As the formalities of business unfolded, they eventually found a moment to step aside and talk, the weight of unspoken conversations hanging in the air.

"Tryna get in touch with you," Y/N began, their tone carrying a mix of frustration and longing. "I don't know where you've been."

Beomgyu met their gaze, a flicker of recognition in his eyes, as if acknowledging the echoes of missed connections.

"Have a conversation, but you'll never let me in," Y/N continued, a raw honesty punctuating their words. The years of distance and unspoken sentiments were etched into the lines of their expression.

"I've tried with you a thousand times," Y/N confessed, the weight of the past hanging between them like a heavy curtain. The frustration of unanswered messages and unspoken sentiments colored their words.

"Maybe I don't have to play the bad guy in the end," Y/N reflected, a plea for understanding. "Because I've been trying hard enough to be a better friend."

The room fell into a heavy silence, the unspoken tension hanging between them like a fragile thread. Y/N's words lingered, a poignant acknowledgment of the attempts to bridge the gap that had grown over the years. The business connections may have brought them together, but the weight of unresolved emotions hovered in the air, leaving them standing at the crossroads of what once was and what could never be again.

Beomgyu listened to Y/N's words, a knot forming in his stomach as the weight of their shared history became palpable. When Y/N finally paused, he took a moment before responding, his voice carrying a mix of regret and sincerity.

"I know," Beomgyu admitted, the weight of unspoken apologies echoing in his words. "I've been avoiding things, and I'm sorry for that. Life got complicated, and I let it push us apart."

Y/N met his gaze, a flicker of understanding mingling with the frustration. "I've tried reaching out, but it felt like you'd built walls. I didn't know where to find you anymore."

Beomgyu sighed, a heavy exhale of acknowledgment. "I messed up, and I should've been more open. It's just… things changed, and I didn't handle it well."

The air between them held a tense quiet, the unspoken words lingering in the space. Beomgyu gathered the courage to speak again. "Maybe we can't undo the past, but I want to try to make things right now. I want to be a better friend, Y/N."

As the weight of their shared history hung in the air, the conversation unfolded, carrying with it the potential for understanding, forgiveness, and the possibility of rebuilding a connection that had once been an integral part of their lives.

Beomgyu, sensing Y/N's reluctance, took a breath before speaking, determined to convey the sincerity behind his words.

"You don't know me like you used to," he acknowledged, recognizing the layers of time that had altered the familiarity they once shared. "You can leave, but I refuse to."

He saw the skepticism in Y/N's eyes, a lingering doubt that hung between them. Beomgyu continued, his voice steady, "You can tell me that I'm crazy, but I won't stop."

He could sense the hesitancy, the wariness in Y/N's posture. "And this won't make me," he added, the unspoken commitment to rekindle the connection they once had. "I know things have changed, and I can't erase the past, but I'm willing to try. We can navigate this together, Y/N, and maybe find a way back to what we once had."

The sincerity in Beomgyu's words hung in the air, a plea for a second chance, a chance to rebuild and redefine the connection that had slipped away over the years. The ball was in Y/N's court, and Beomgyu awaited their response with a mix of hope and determination.

[justanartisticduck]

Warning: eyestrain, LONG post (please please tumblr don’t ruin the quality ;u;), implied abuse, death/harm, fire, teeth..? And glitchy effect, please look elsewhere if these make you uncomfy.

HEYA ITS ME AGAIN AND I SPENT ALMOST 5 HOURS STRAIGHT MAKING THIS :DDDDD

SO! This is a little thingy I did based off a song called “Neighborhood #2 (Laika)” by Arcade Fire! Now, earlier I made a post saying how this song really reminded me of my Duck interpretation regarding both their past and future- now this is mostly based off the meaning/references of this song, now I won’t get into too much detail, especially since one of the references is EXTREMELY dark and sad SO I’ll summarize by saying the themes I decided to focus on here! First being the topic of running away from a… not so great life.. And second being a death that was MEANT to happen- (both themes were discovered by the music video and also by some research-) NOW I chose these themes since they.. directly correlate with my Duck (both being that their childhood was.. not great.. and by the fact they LITERALLY DIE IN THE SERIES-) hence why this song reminds me of them so much <3 So yeah! Now i wanted to protray so much but alas i was limited to only a canvas- (some day i will make an animatic of this.. some day <33) BUT i did try representing a few things here!! First off at the top of the canvas we have Malicia, i put here here mostly cuz if the lyrics but also bc she was the first person who influenced Robin’s long line of misfortune. Alongside that we have younger Robin, to go along with Malicia.. Now before you ask their feathers are brown here because this is before they had started dying their feathers green and the reason they had wings was because birds thought it was cool AND they also recently have been thinking about that one legend abt Icarus flying too close to the sun with his wax wings and ended up falling into the ocean because of this- (listen birds has had a LOT on their mind lately leave me alone-) AJYWAYS so they also have some odd red lines surrounding them as you can see- now these are supposed to be spider lilies (which, if you dont know why they are important here, search their meaning) NOW these were supposed to be more detailed but I literally couldn’t make them more detailed for it is late and birds has been drawing this for hours- SO yeah!! Next we see both the feathers which are falling from Robin’s wings and the stem of one of the spider lilies which reside nearby current Robin who now bears their classic green feathers. Now i don’t have much to say here about them in this portion of the thingy BUT i like to think this is them pre June 19th, this also is supposed to correlate slightly with what is below them.. BUT i like to think THIS is them upon realizing Roy is a bad person, this is them upon loosing their friend Daisy (which may or may not have been referenced by the flowers covering their eyes- 👀), this is them upon the time that.. for once in all their time knowing eachother… they and red weren’t on great terms- So, their distrust for Roy continues to the next shot but, instead, here they are not just distrustful of Roy… but also.. they fear him here- Alongside that this is where the stem of the spider lily ends, where their lost feathers transform into teeth which, note, belong to the monster can- (and also notice, it seems as if the teeth are about to bite onto Robin… gee, wonder what thats referencing lol-) and then Roys hands are now surrounding the duck as they look with pure fear.. this is where the canvas ends… and… well… considering the themes and foreshadowing already present- im sure you know what this likely means for them-

Now thats it for the main description as to what birds was thinking upon making this!! NOW uh this all was inspired by the song mentioned previously and yeah!! (Also small thing i wanna mention but i personally like to believe Robins brother, Rodney, is the one singing here, out of greif and anger, but thats just my personal silly thought hehe- >:3) BUT i am so SO happy with how this came out!! There are a few things i messed up BUT I DONT CARE THIS MAKES ME FEEL ACCOMPLISHED AND I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS!! Seriously i hope yall thought it was as cool as i thought it was :3 Anywho, goodbye and i hope yall liked this!! :DD

(Also side note: not to be annoying but please reblog this- i spent literal hours making this and im really happy with how this came out and i would appreciate it if you could reblog this- you don’t have to BUT i would still appreciate it!!! Ty <333 -sincerely, a tired Duck)

[linipik]

What art programs do you use digitally if you use any? I’m a beginning graphic arts student in college and need help finding programs to help me learn how to draw

My position here is that how to draw digitally is not  the same as learning how to draw in general. I am assuming that since you are beginning college you would like to do this professionally wich leads to dedicating a lot of time to learn a specific thing, If you are looking for “how to draw” my recommendation is using a lot of paper, pencil, peb, markers and any medium (even digital) but truly recommend starting to draw in a traditional medium because 1) gives you more focus on the drawing part than in getting around a  software, and 2) looking at a screen ALL the time is something that , as a professional, you want to manage really well, most people i work with, myself included, are having eye and shoulder problems because of the digital drawing position is not really that healthy  even less if you are at uni or working from home . But still, if you want to also go with digital, go for it! because that is just another tool for drawing. Now..if you are looking to start drawing digitally, you want to start with software you are going to be using in your professional life, just to be familiarised with them for the moment you start doing professional work. The most known one and most used in the industry (animation/illustration) is probably photoshop, And that one takes some time to learn super well, but at the same time to start using it you only have to open a new canvas and try all the tools so you know what you are dealing with  (this is exactly why, to just start drawing you better start with old school pen and paper)...

But photoshop is a pain to pay sometimes and, there are more softwares right now with the same (...or sometimes better) features than photoshop!. I have used Clip Studio Paint (very good and it usually have a sales season so you can get it for a nice price) or a freeware that i also like very much: Medibang paint Pro (i use this one mostly on an android tablet and it works really well). But i think there is also procreate and all the fun apple things i’ve never used and probably never will (i personally dont like apple)

Most softwares have a TON of options and shortcuts and remember that it takes time to learn how to use them, so starting, you want to focus on the thing you want to do with them... that is just draw.  That is the big difference i see with learning how to draw and drawing digitally, instead of having so many options in digital  as  a good thing, it becomes overwhelming and you end up not drawing at all, As always, you want to approach art by parts while you are learning, sometimes focusing on form others in colour and so on, and the same happens digitally. Back in the day, i started using digital mixing it with traditional , so it makes a smoother transition from a medium to the other. In both, traditional and digital,you do lots of studies and use lots of references., and gladly, the internet is full of tutorials for very specific things. Sometimes when it is overwhelming, you can chose a small projects to do . I really like fanart to try new things or styles, because i feel it has less of that pressure to be original and creative, (something that happens a lot at uni) In my professional life I use photoshop for digital paintings and bg art and storyboard pro for storyboard, this one is vector based drawing and , as useful as it is, you need to already be comfortable drawing to be able to use all the features that make it worth using. Conclusion: if you want to just start drawing, best take is to focus on the very basic of things like shape, form and training your hand to draw with lots of life drawing, lots of references... maybe you find you are better drawing with super fine pens or maybe you like using a brush. But, if your goal is to start digital drawing, i recommend non vector softwares and to just get familiar with the tool they have and chose some you feel more comfortable with, this may take some time, but...i use to say this to me a lot ,"you can’t improvise experience”, so all that time you spend figuring out a software is experience and it get’s easier to try others later on .  Hope this helps!, and sorry for the slow answer, I try to be as clear as I can, I am always open to more questions noni, so yeah :>

[yukiobeyme]

Hi! I saw your hc of the brothers reacting to a mc playing the harp. Do you think you could do hc with an skilled painter mc too? I study art, but due to a depressive episode i stoped painting, i started painting again a few days ago and remembered how much i enjoy it. Maybe due to the studys of the devildom she didnt have time for a while? Its ok if you dont want to or feel uncomfortable:)

Sorry, it took forever but hopefully, this suffices. It’s the longest thing I have ever written for Obey Me (5.6k words) The picture that is included is drawn by me, which is a painting that is featured in Detroit Become Human. It was in chapter 6 for Marcus, and the painting is human- hope. So, yea I hope you all enjoy and it’s just as good as the harp fic I did.

This is also like how the brothers try to help you with depression too because I need it lol. The first half is them noticing that you aren’t doing art anymore then you randomly paint then its the brother’s reaction though I don’t know if their reaction is long enough.

I am behind on requests but feel free to send stuff, I’m doing online classes so I have more free time and on my computer constantly. I think I’m finally gonna catch up on everything.

Trigger Warning for Depression and not necessarily Eating Disorder Otherwise Nonspecific but MC struggles to eat while depressed. 

 Art was something you always did. It was started as an innocent hobby, then you started to doodle on your assignments and notes. If there were paper and pencil around, there was bound to be one of your drawings on it eventually. In high school, you decided to take Art as your elective of choice, and during that time you learn what your favorite medium was and what your art style is. You found out you like paints the most; acrylics were the easiest for you, it was the most forgiving of the paints, watercolor you loved but it took work and concentration to do, and oil paint you practiced loved to hate. Oil was always so hard to work with, at first you always overworked the paint and left it looking dull and sad looking, but you were determined to get it right. Your final project was a huge oil painting, you took your time to plan and layout that painting. The topic you chose was the fall of angels, which you didn’t know much about. You knew about the Celestial Realm and Devildom, everyone does but it’s not like humans can walk freely in either of the realms. You debated back and forth if you should do a generic angel or if you should have more fun with it and recapture the fall of a true angel. Your research led you to learn about six brothers that fell around the same time. You recognized the first name easily, Lucifer; he was prideful and what everyone refers to the most powerful demon. He fell from Heaven after he became so impressed with his own beauty, intelligence, power, and position that he began to desire for himself the honor and glory that belonged to God alone. This pride represents the actual beginning of sin in the universe���preceding the fall of the human Adam by an indeterminate time. The other names, Mammon, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor didn’t seem to ring any bells, but you took the time to try and research each on. You decided to capture all their falls in one painting, they fell in the order of power. Lucifer would be the furthest one down the canvas and that’s why Belphegor would be at the top still within the clouds. The painting ended up looking amazing and still hangs on the wall in your living room, it was the first decoration piece you ever put up.

Fast forward to when you were whisked away to Devildom to be an exchange student. They were nice enough to give you time to pack things, only 15 minutes to pack a year's worth of things. You grabbed random clothes and stuffed them in a bag, you grabbed your favorite stuff animal and went immediately went to your desk where you kept all your painting supplies. You made sure to grab as many different colors as possible, all different brush sizes and your two sketches that could handle the paint medium. You decided to grab your phone and its charger though you knew it probably wouldn’t work in Devildom. With one last glance around your house, you paused and looked at the oil painting before telling the demon that you were ready to start this adventure.

Much to your surprise, you were met with faces that were familiar. Though it wasn’t because you had met them before rather it was because you studied their faces and bodies to paint them. You were flushed the whole time they introduced themselves and was even more flustered when you realized you would be living with them for the next year. If they noticed, they didn’t say much about it. You knew they noticed your stares though. You were studying their faces, trying to recall if you captured them right, if your references were accurate or not.

You tried to do some form of art every day, from doodles or painting. Usually, you would sketch something during your breaks and paint them once you were back at the House of Lamentation. The brothers knew you painted but you always requested to be left alone. This was the time you played the music you wanted and get lost in the brush strokes. It was your stress release, something you found joy in, the way you reconnected with your body.

But within a month of being an exchange student, your RAD work piled up and instead of sketching during breaks you had to start studying and doing work to ensure you stayed on top of everything. The mix of stress and not taking care of yourself led you down a spiraling depression. You gave up painting and daily self-care was sparse and very little. You stayed up late and woke up early to get as much work done as possible, food was on the small side and on the go food.

You had gone shopping with Asmodeus and grabbed canvases, the now gathered dust in the corner of your room. Somewhere still blank and others left unfinished, but you could never push yourself to pick up your paintbrushes. Sometimes you would pull out all your material and just sit and stare at the canvas until you gave up and left it alone. Soon the brothers decided to make a schedule so that you never alone and offer you different types of support that were unique to them. They never pushed you to pick up painting again, though they tried to encourage it and encourage you to take care of yourself.

Lucifer:

Lucifer noticed how your habits changed, while he never saw your finished art pieces, he saw bits and pieces. He noticed that you like to draw what was around you, he had seen you draw the RAD, the House of Lamentation, and even sketches of his brothers and himself. When you stopped drawing in the morning, he just figured you weren’t as inspired, but then the dark circles under your eyes formed, skipping meals or eating too little, and how you sometimes drifted in class.

He thought it should be his job to help you, but he didn’t know how. For the first time in centuries, he felt powerless. He decided whenever you skipped meals, he would find ways to get you to eat. In the morning if you skipped breakfast, he grabbed a fruit and a granola bar to hand to you. Or when you skipped dinner, he brought the food to wherever you were studying. He made the time to sit with you, while you ate, bringing work of his own to do. He would try to brush off as he simply wanted to work in a different area when in reality, he wanted to make sure you ate.

Finally, Lucifer would ask if you had drawn or painted recently. Your grimace told him everything, “No, I haven’t been inspired recently,” you shrugged it off hoping he would drop it. But instead, he poked and tried to get more information from you. You broke after a while spilling all the struggles you have been facing and how the stress-induced depression, you assured him you been through it before and you would be fine but right now it just felt like loneliness and darkness.

While Lucifer didn’t show it, it broke his heart to hear you say that. He figured you were stressed, and you seemed down, but he didn’t know it was too this magnitude. He did his best to support and encourage you in any way he could, hoping that it would help somehow. He offered to tutor you and help you with homework in hopes to lighten your load. He knew he should tell Diavolo, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. This felt too intimate to disclose to him, he felt happy and privileged that you shared it with him, and he didn’t want to break that. At least you were talking to someone.

Mammon:

Mammon was oblivious to how your schedule and habits changed. It wasn’t until Beelz mentioned that he hadn’t seen you eat yet today during lunch. Then it clicked how he hadn’t seen you as much or rather how he had to seek you out constantly to get the attention he deserved from you.

He started to pay more attention to you and something seemed missing from your stack of books but could never place it until he came to your room and say your sketchbook on the floor under all your books. It clicks he doesn’t remember the last time he saw you drawing or doodling.

He then noticed your tired eyes, your slow-moving, and you did skip a lot of meals or at very little. He totally increased how much he spent with you, even when you claimed to have too much work to do. He would simply sit at your feet and lean against you. You would occasionally drop your hand down and play with his hair. You noticed the increase of affection and time he spent with you and at first, you were annoyed with it but soon you enjoyed the quiet company. Once Mammon saw you were happy to have him around, he started talking to you about his random schemes; which never failed to make you smile and laugh. He soon made it his goal to make sure you were always laughing and smiling, he never wanted it to stop.

You didn’t disclose everything to Mammon, but you talked about your feelings to him. In some ways it was hard not too, having him so close but you couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. He comforted you to the best of his ability, sometimes he said the wrong things, but he tried and attempted to fix it.

He would surprise you with small gifts, one day at lunch he managed to get a yakisoba bread and you were surprised when he offered you the whole thing instead of just wanting to split it. You offered to split it with him and you wouldn’t take no for an answer. You both ate you halves outside, and you couldn’t help but cuddle up against him. When you finished your food, you gave Mammon a peak of the cheek. He flushed immediately and you hooked your arms together and walked to class with him. Needless to say, he bragged about it to the brother’s group chat and he was made fun of because of how he blushed for the rest of the day.

Leviathan:

Noticed the symptoms immediately, he had been through similar things. That there were times he stopped video games and anime or stopped finding the enjoyment from it. Though because he was constantly in his room, no one would notice.

He simply offered you silent support, making sure you were never alone or in one place for too long. He would try to drag you away for a quick game or anime or watch him play a game. You finally asked why he was spending more time with you and he would bashfully say while he didn’t know how you felt, he felt like he had been through similar things. It broke your heart to hear that and you pulled him into a tight hug. Later that night, you went to his room bringing tea for both of you and you both stayed up way too late talking to each other. It seemed like talking about it help life some of the pressure off you.

He said his door was always open to you, and while you didn’t always take him up on it, you occasionally when to study and watch him play whatever game he was currently playing. It was nice to have his company, even if you didn’t talk, it was comforting to be in the company that understood your feelings.

During class, he sat to your left while Beelz sat to your right. Levi made sure to nudge you if your attention seemed to diverge from the lecture and always offer you his notes if you missed anything. He also showed you places to hide in RAD, if you wanted to hide during lunch but his only request was you took food and ate it. He said he would prefer to hang out as well but respected your privacy if you truly wanted to be alone.

Would try and encourage you to paint or draw again. Asking you to draw him some character from his games or anime. You occasionally you would indulge in drawing whatever he wanted. Overall, Levi was your quiet support and you were grateful for it, to be able to sit in quiet and not to be asked what is wrong or must talk was a perfect escape sometimes.

 Satan:

He was worried about you, he offered to take you to the library for a new place to study. He would read your textbooks to you. He would read it whether you were in his room, the library, or curled up on his bed. Though most times if he read to you on his bed, you would drift off to sleep listening to his voice. He would always smile whenever you managed to fall asleep, it comforted him that he was able to help you fall asleep.

Satan would find books about depression, but he was uncertain because it sounded to clinically and he doubted that it was really like how the book described. Though he continued to research, trying to find out ways to support you. Online forums and talking to the brothers about the things they were doing and what seemed to help you.

He would stumble sometimes but you couldn’t help but feel touched he tried so hard. When you say the help guide and books he had, you cried. You couldn’t believe someone would care this much about you and want to help you. He was there to comfort you and once you calmed down you thanked him and laugh, “I was wondering why your actions seemed straight from a self-help book, Thank you,” you kissed him on the cheek and gave up studying for the day to hang out and cuddle with him. He would ask what he could do to help, what things he did that helped or hurt you. You would drift off to sleep with a smile on your face.

When you weren’t reading together and Satan would play drama, especially Korean Dramas, something you introduced to him. He would play your favorite one, the one you have already watched together and that you have seen a million times, but still loved it and reacted to the story every time. Sometimes Satan would quote the show and act dramatically to make you smile and laugh.

But there were hard times with Satan, he was the Avatar of Wrath, after all, he would get annoyed at the situation, but never at you. He always made sure that you knew that, though occasionally he would say something that he would immediately apologize for it. He tells you; he feels worthless and helpless. He wanted to help you and make it all better, but he knew that isn’t how it works.

Asmodeus:

Much like Mammon, offered you comfort and affection. Whisking you away to get the newest coffee or tea at the café, shopping, bubble baths, and doing skincare with him. While you tried to protest, he was consistent, and most times was a success. He starts to offer to go the café to study for a change of scenery, offering to quiz you while you took the bubble bath, or doing face masks that you could put on and study for a bit while it dried.

“Stress isn’t good for your skin. Neither is not sleeping,” Asmodeus would tell you pointedly.

Never directly asked what was wrong, but constantly reminded you he was there for you if you ever needed him or wanted to talk. While you didn’t to it often, instead of talking to him you would seek him out to cuddle and of course, he never denied it. It was a guaranteed break for you and most times you fell asleep.

Whenever he took you shopping, he would drag you to the art store encouraging to buy art supplies, he ended up buying you new paintbrushes, paint, and canvas. Telling you there wasn’t any rush to paint anything, but it would just be there in case you hit inspiration. He would always joke that you could paint him or “paint him like a French girl,” and would flash you a cheeky grin. You would laugh and shove his shoulder.

Sat behind you in most of your class and whenever he had the change, he would give you affection. He would pass you notes constantly, sometimes it was drawings of his own. Sometimes they were beautiful and amazing other times he drew funny sketches. You quickly found out who drew Lucifer riding the unicorn and Diavolo in the dress. The funny sketches also included exaggerated drawings of the teachers or his brothers, which was so hard not to laugh in class so you could only turn around and glare at him, that didn’t last long before you broke out into a smile and shook your head at him.

Beelzebub:

Noticed you lack interest of food and lack of eating immediately. Was constantly bring you snacks and sharing them with you. He sometimes was sneaky with it, dropping it off fruit slices and sitting it beside you and leaving. Then coming back later to see the empty plate and he was beaming. Would study with you and sat near you in class, whenever he pulled out a snack, he would set it in between you, in hopes you would snack on his food.

Whenever it was his turn to cook, he would find out your favorite comfort food; whether it was something from Devildom or Human food. Trying to make sure the food was as appetizing as possible and mouth-watering in hopes to entice you.

Would always be proud whenever you ate and encouraged yourself to be a glutton sometimes. Beelzebub was also your teddy bear, always down to engulf you in a hug and study with you occasionally. He would also tell you stories and memories about Lilith, times in the Celestial Realm, or random memories that were simply used as a distraction or calm you down when you got too tense about your schoolwork.

Beelzebub would also be the one that read you bedtime stories when you couldn’t sleep, it always made you laugh. He would do the voices and everything, as you cuddle against him. It became a normal thing to wake up to see Beelzebub leaning against you bed, he would admit he was checking on you during the middle of the night and decided to stay just in case you needed him.

He always checked up on you and while he was the Avatar of Gluttony, he indulged you in other things than food. He gave you a lot of praise and even small trinkets he found while he was out shopping.

He was just always there for you and he had his alerts on specifically for you. He would always reply with lightning speed. He was also the one that came up with the idea to not let you be alone too long and create the shifts between the brothers. While it was annoying in some ways you couldn’t help but feel touched by their efforts

Belphegor:

Consistently offered and told you take a break and naps. He would drag you to the planetarium to study and while he offered to study with you, he would end up dozing off at some point. It always made you smile. You would go snag his blanket and tuck him in.

He would constantly wrap you up in blankets and cling to you like a koala, trying to make sure you were as comfortable as possible as you study. He even would offer you to use his pillow that he carried around. While you were hesitant, but you adored how Belphegor smelled and often found comfort in that. He would be able to help you learn about the stars and constellations. He could talk forever about it and often did. He knew all the stories behind them, what they looked like and could point them out.

Sometimes you would count the stars with him to fall asleep. Belphegor was known to tuck you in, he would kiss you on your forehead and whenever he found you asleep, he would join you. It was the simple things that made you feel a little better and loved. Never forced you to talk about anything, but whenever he noticed you were staring off into space, he would begin to ramble about everything and anything. Trying to ground you and bring you back to the present.

He knew where to find you whenever you couldn’t sleep, and you weren’t in your room and he told the other brothers but always told them he would go and comfort and hang out with you. You were in the planetarium, it where he went when he couldn’t sleep or felt restless. He would sit beside you and sit in silence, he usually had a blanket to drape over the both of you. You would lean again him and rest his head on your shoulder, bringing in his smell and feel some of your tensions melt away.

Finally, one random day, you had inspiration hit you. Asmodeus had bought you a canvas and it was huge, and you knew the painting had to be just right. You decided to paint it outside, thinking maybe getting some vitamin D would help as well. You gathered your art stuff before you headed out. You ran into Satan as you made your way outside, you flashed him a shy smile and he offered to help you carry out your things. You were in the garden and you slowly set up; Satan helped you set up before disappearing. You grabbed your pencil and started to sketch out your painting. You heard someone approaching you and it was Satan though he was carrying a book before finding a place to sit near you in the shade. You gave him a soft smile before you went back to work. Before you knew it, you were loaded up your pallet with all different colors and started to paint. You allowed yourself to get lost in the painting. Letting your mind go blank and allowing your hand to take over the paint strokes. You didn’t notice the crowd that gathered behind you, you were completely lost in the joy of the painting. Your smile only continued to go the more and more you painted, you remembered how much you loved painting; the tension in your shoulders started to release and you felt renewed. Once you were finished you stepped back to see the painting in the full picture. You looked behind you to see all the brothers behind you, looking at your painting.

“It’s beautiful,” Satan said setting his book down and the other brothers nodded in agreement.

“Thank you… for everything,” you started and continued when you saw the brothers confused looks, “For supporting me and reminding me to take care of myself,” you flashed all of them a small smile.

“It’s inspired by all of you. That you reached out to me and reminded me of the hope that it gets better, even if it takes a while or doesn’t feel like it ever would.” All the brothers looked touched, but your words and it was Beelz that pulled you into a hug first. Soon you were getting hugs from all the brothers except Lucifer who gave a nod, you knew that later in private you would get a quick hug from him later.

Lucifer:

Lucifer had a sense of pride in seeing you paint again. Seeing you so engrossed in your work and how confidently your paint strokes were. He loved watching how the colors swirled together and how the painting slowly came to life. He realized he could watch you paint all day; he would later ask if you were willing to paint him something for his office. He would let you in his office and look around to get an idea of the mood of the room and how much space you had to work with. When you finished the painting, Lucifer hung it up almost immediately. He whenever he was stressed and tense, he would find himself looking at it, following the swirls of the colors to calm himself.

He also adored to indulge you in more expensive paints, which always took your breath away. He would allow you in his office to paint if you wanted. Most times Lucifer was working on papers, but occasionally he would play the piano, soft melodies that were soothing. It became a tradition that once a week, you would go to his office to paint or draw. Asking his opinions on sketches and if you should follow through with them or change it up.

Mammon:

He was taken back by how beautiful you looked as you painted. You were so carefree and happy; it took his breath away. He watched how your body moved as you painted, how smooth and elegant it looked. It was angelic, he was the only brother that dared to approach you; he would sit down on the grass and watch you.

He never formally requested any paintings from you, but you ended up painting him something anyway. You bought a copy of the magazine he was on the cover of and recreated it for him to hang up in his room. He was speechless when you gave it to him, you decided to do it more of an abstract with lots of colors. He hung it up on his wall and whenever he looked at it, he would smile and blush, it seemed so intimate that you painted him. That you probably spend a lot of time looking at his face to recreate it. He was greedy and craved watching you paint; for some reason, it was soothing for him and it made you happy so in turn, it made him happy.

Leviathan:

He watched in amazement, seeing you so shy and in a shy to being confident and standing tall. HE was in awe; his mouth fell open at some point. He felt like a child again, recalling how he has memories of having similar reactions when Lucifer did things. He followed you paint strokes, watching the painting come to life. When you turned around, he gave you the biggest smile, he was so happy to see you so passionate and happy with your work.

Even though the memory of being chased by Henry 1.0 was fresh in your mind, you decided to recapture him for Levi. So he could always have him hanging in his room. Levi was speechless when he saw it, he would whisper thank you to you. His smile made it so worth it.

Satan:

He found it super important to text his brothers that you were painting in the garden or about to start. The chat blew up with excitement. He grabbed a random book; he had no intention to read the book, but he didn’t want you to think he was staring at you. He sat underneath the trees near you and opened the book and started to pretend to read. He was amazing and honored that he could watch the full process of watching your painting coming to life. From the rough sketch, then the base paint, and then watching you add more and more color. When he saw his brothers come out, he raised one finger to his lips, to ensure they stayed quiet.

He didn’t ask you to paint him anything but asked if he could watch you occasionally. Which you mostly agreed to, though with more intimate projects you would tell him next time. You ended up painting himself something anyways. It was an old-world map, Fra Mauro map. It was made in Italy and even included the Garden of Eden. When he first saw it, he was speechless, he was excited though. This painting would go so well in his room, it matches the old-world library setting he had in his room. He was even more excited because he has a book about old-world maps that Fra Mauro is featured in it. The hug he pulled you into took your breath away, but you felt so happy because of his reaction.

Asmodeus:

Asmodeus was excited to see you painting again. He would be lying if he said it wasn’t attractive to watch you get lost in your art. While he was watching you paint, he couldn’t stop thinking about what other things you could paint and wondered if you would be okay with painting him like a French girl. Soon he disregarded the thoughts and simply appreciate the art in front of him, though he decided that you were really the masterpiece here.

Instead of painting Asmodeus a picture on canvas, you asked him to take off his shirt and lay down on his bed. You had brought your paints and paint brushed, while he was confused, he complied.

“This is going to be cold, sorry,” you gave him a heads up before you painted the stroke on his back. Asmodeus love it, you were turning him into a piece of your art. It felt intimate and precious. Though it was cold, and he complained and shivered, he was excited to see the final product.

Once you were done, you took a picture of your painting on his and yours D.D.D. You told him you combined two of your favorite paintings by Vincent Van Gogh, Starry Night but instead of the yellow stars, it was Van Gogh’s sunflowers.

 Beelzebub:

He was the most excited out of the brothers, he was so happy to see you painting again. Seeing it come to life right in front of him, gave him a new appreciation for art. He could have watched you paint forever, you looked so carefree and relaxed. He didn’t know how much he missed your smile. After you were done and the painting was dried, he would ask if he could trace the colors. He would pull you into a huge hug and spin you around, making you cling onto him and laughing.

Beelz would ask instead of painting him something if you could have a paint night with him. You decided to pull up a Bob Ross video and follow it together. The results were dramatic, yours look close to Ross’ but had your unique style, while Beelz tried his hardest and it did resemble the reference paint. You started to giggle at his painting and before you knew it, Beelz took his extra paint and flung it at you. You let out a shriek before joining in, in the end, you both ended up covered in paint and laughing at each other.

 Belphegor:

Belphegor was napping when his D.D.D started going off like crazy, he was annoyed until he saw that it was about you were about to paint. It gave him a jolt of energy to rush out to the garden. He was the last brother to get there. Standing behind you, he watched how your brush danced across the page and how your body swayed. You seem in your element and lost in your work. It was so relaxing to watch you paint, how the colors swirled together and just seeing how relaxed and happy you were seemed to rub off on him.

You knew you didn’t have to paint Belphie anything, but you couldn’t help yourself. You knew exactly what you wanted to draw anyways. You set up in the Planetarium and went to work to capture the sky above you. Belphie ended up joining you, he grabbed his blanket and sat behind you before curling up and watching you paint. It wasn’t long before you heard his soft snores behind him. You chuckled at him before going back to work. When you were finished you saw he was still asleep, you couldn’t help yourself. You crept near him with a paintbrush in hand and touched his cheek with it. He woke up immediately due to the cold paint, you soon were fighting over the paintbrush. You didn’t stand a chance against him, once he had the paintbrush in hand, he gave your cheek the same treatment. You both began to laugh and once you had calmed down, you showed him the painting you did for him. He pulled you into a hug, rubbing his painted cheek against yours to smear the paint even more.

When it was time for you to leave Devildom, you gave the brothers the painting. They tried to refuse but you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Please, it’s a way for you to remember me. You inspired me to do and it’s a reminder to have hope that I’ll be back soon,” you told them a little teary-eyed. You knew you were going to miss all of them so much, but you had a renew sense and passion for painting and the brothers and Devildom has inspired a lot more pieces as soon as you got back to Earth.

[scenarihoes]

09 for Aizawa? Angst and nsfw if you can??

i see the word angst and i get tunnel vision!!!!! its my trap card >:D ENJOY!

cw: self harm mentions!

09. — aizawa shouta / reader

You weren’t aware of the exposure until it was far too late. You should have known better- Aizawa’s entire life and career surrounded the usage of his eyes. He was all seeing, all observant. Not a single thing within his line of sight would slip below his radar and this was no exception. He’d waited to ask you about the origin story and you willingly let that unknown silence fester until finally you confessed it all like blood spilling from wound, tears spilling from squeezed shut eyes.

Though this isn’t the first time you’ve found yourself unneath him, looking p at him with doeful eyes, you can’t help but feel like it’s different now. You feel stripped to the very bone- he knows it all now. Hot fiery kisses and the messy struggle to shed clothing had muddled your common sense and now you were paying the price for it. You look up at him riddled with shame. He doesn’t bother hiding his staring.

“You did this to yourself?” A hand runs up your sides and touches the bumps of scars. “All of them?”

He motions to the stripes of white that litter your body. It hurts, almost, the burning of his gaze. Judgement, confusion. You’d hoped, at the start, he would overlook the countless marks. He should have known to- he was more than capable of putting two and two together. But, he chose instead to douse your insecurities in light. His hand found and preened all the evidence you’d spent the betterhalf of your entire life hiding.

“...Yeah.” You murmur. It’s hard to look him in the eyes. “A long time ago.”

His eyes never leave your skin, particularly stuck fast on an exceptionally large scar trailing the top of your thigh. He lets out a deep sigh. “You never told me.”

You recoil like you’ve been struck. “I should have told you, but I didn’t want you to leave.”

Aizawa’s chest concaves. Surely, there is a blackhole forming within the depths of his body- it eats and claws and grows. His fingers dance over all the lines of white as though they’re a map, a hidden secret he longs to unfold. With your apprehension you’ve opted to sparing him the gruesome details as to their existance- he isn’t sure if he is grateful or worried. Slightly offended, even, not that he’d ever remark about that when you’re in such a fragile state of mind.

“Leave you?” There are times that the gruffness of his voice is enough to make others flinch. He would have given anything for you never have been one of those people, but you do. You cower, you fear. You’re afraid of what he could say, what he could do, next. Every moment he pauses is another moment you feel like you’re about to be hurdled over some cliff you’ve built all on your own.

He softens himself and says, “I would never leave you for something like this.”

Quivering lips, eyes downcast and staring somewhere off to the side, he wonders if you’re feeling as vulnerable as you look. In any other time Aizawa would eat that expression up, swallow it whole and taunt you for the falter of your confidence.

Now it just feels wrong. He doesn’t understand it- he doesn’t get why one would willingly turn the canvas of their body into a battlefeild. The scars he adorns on his body all tell a different story, a different mission. All the pieces of him speak volumes and morale. The only story he can find within the marks atop your skin is that of self hatred. It makes him want to reach into you and tear those thoughts out; makes him want to find you before the blade met skin and your tears detailed the specks of blood. A mixed drink of insecurities composed of one part isolation and one part self-blame.

“Look at me.” Aizawa says softly. Slowly you turn your gaze to look at him, afraid of him. No, not of him, of what could come. In your worries you lack the ability to mask your expression. When your eyes meet his, he touches the side of your face and props himself up above with his free hand. Normally you’d lean into the touch, but this time, you stare back and wait for the other show to drop.

He kisses you, pulls away and shuts his eyes, troubled. “This is never going to be something I would leave you for. Got that?”

“I’m sorry,” Hands reach up to touch his cheeks and gently graze against the scruff. Your tone melts in his ears and bares your complex to him, to feel as though you’ve broken something at every breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

You swallow thickly and shrug, looking away. “For just... Making things difficult.”

The bed creaks as Aizawa shifts to lean down and kiss those pesky tears away before they can even bead at the corners of your eyes. He trails those kisses from your cheeks to your jaw, to the curve of your neck. Naturally your arms wrap around his neck, a gasp passing your lips when he licks and nibbles your skin.

Teeth gritted as he sucks marks into your neck, you whine out low noises. Finally he senses you’re letting yourself sink into him instead of shying away for fear that he may break your heart worse than you’ve ever broken it yourself.

He waits until he feels the tug of your fingers pressing into him, and the breathiness of your voice when you murmur his name in need.

“Dont be sorry,” Aizawa lines himself up between your legs, buris his face into your skin and takes in the scent of your hair. A small sound leaves the back of his throat when the tip of his cock presses against your warmth.

Your legs remain splayed open, ready for him. Even through your tears, you were ready for him. Begging for him, really, desparate for something else to focus on. It’s hard to hate yourself when you can’t even think clearly. It’s coping, Aizawa’s realized a long time ago, when he first noticed the hints that perhaps you were not as cheery as everyone thought you to be. It was even more apparent with the way you’d plea to be fucked senseless, to be driven into so hard that there wasn’t a single thing occupying your mind save for that very moment when he was buried to the very base of his cock, surrounding by you and your neediness.

So many times he indulged you- he couldn’t complain. Rough was fun, intense was fiery. He enjoyed watching your troubles melt away from you with every feral buck of his hips during the harshness of his fucks.

It’s percisely why he feels he needs to take you slowly tonight. All his touches, from your nipples down the play of your stomach and to the heat between your legs, have been slow. Soft. Feather light in some places just to see your hair stand on edge at his will. For once, he doesn’t want you to hide. For once, he doesn’t want to hide right along with you. He wants it all on the stage maganified beneath a bright spotlight only the two of you dance within.

After spending so long in the shadows, it’s hard to find the way back to the light, but he’s decided he’s taking you with him as he goes.

His hair tickles you as he lowers himself, bent over your body so he could reach to grab your heels and press them to his lower back. Your own hands lay restlessly at either side of your head, and he takes it upon himself to keep himself propped by interwining his fingers with yours.

A familiar glint sparkles in your eyes, one that shines differently than when the moonlight catches the wetness of your tears.

“Don’t ever be afraid of me,” He breathes, drags the head of his cock through your heated lips. You shiver and whine beneath him, buck up for more, but he doesn’t let you. Not yet. He kisses you quiet, and then, against your cheek, says, “I’m not going anywhere.”

The weight of him presses and chains you down to the mattress, just as your fingers are the cuffs holding him fast to you. Down his body, finger pads following the trails your eyes paint. He is marked just as much, if not more, than you. Deep scars that rise above the skin only barely hidden by his hair and the darkness of his thicj clothes. An untrained eye overlooks these details, but it’s evident that neither of you live in tempoary ignorance.

Overhead the spotlight grows so hot that you feel it may scorch you.

Aizawa drags his index finger down the length of your torso and your skin bubbles with goosebumps in his wake. Through the blinds you barely see the glow of blue painting his figure, and he bathes in it, that beautiful light. He bathes in you just as much.

He kisses you on the mouth and swallows the startled gasp that leaves you as your hips collide.

[nathan-livingston-hnd1c]

David Millar, A Portrait by Nardav Kander

25th September 2019

Today we visited the Scottish National Portait Gallery in Edinburgh looking at photographic works by Francessca Woodman, Diane Arbus and Robert Mapplethrope. While i was walking around all the exhibitions at the Gallery i came across this portrait photograph on display at the Modern Portrait gallery on the 1st Floor, it is a head shot photograph of Scottish former Cyclist David Millar. The photograph was taken in 2011 by Narder Kander.

What technology was used to make the images? How does this affect your reading of the work?

All photographs that have been displayed at the Modern Portature Gallery are made using colour archived print on Aluminium material the gallery also includes canvas paintings as well. The photograph i chose to analyse was of a large scale print which allows you to gain a better understanding of the details within the photograph.

Describe what you can see and where it is within the image?

In the image there is a clear head shot of professional Cyclist David Millar, he is looking straight at the lens he is looking very feirce and sweaty with a classic wet looking hairstyle the back and sides have been pushed back and the fringe pushed to the side. his head is in the middle of the frame and his shoulders take up the lower part of the frame, there is little negative space which take up both sides of the frame.

What is the format of the image? - is it portrait, landscape, square? What does it imply?

The photograph has been shot in portrait which implys that this photograph was produced for a sports magazine or for an autobiography of David Millar.

Consider the composition - where are things placed within the image?

David Millar is positioned at the centre of the photograph and is in focus, his shoulders take up the whole the lower part of the frame. the photograph also has a white background but due to artifical lighting coming into the right hand side of the frame this makes the background look gray is also out of focus. 

What is included within the frame and what is excluded? What effect does this have? 

The frame includes a close up shot of David Millar along with a white out of focus background which becomes gray due to the angle in which the lighting is projected it is projected from the right hand side of the frame one side of his face has light where as the other side is darker and his eye is dialated. the rest of the background, the light and the subject from the sholders down have been exluded from the frame.

What is the photographer’s viewpoint? - is it above, below or equal to the subject? what does this imply? How would the image change if the viewpoint was different?

The photographers viewpoint is equal to the subject matter, which suggests that there is a lot of cummunication between the photographer and the subject matter. if the viewpoint was diffrent for intstance if David Millar was looking away from the camera then the source of light would be diffrent .

What happened before and after the photograph was taken?

before the photograph david would have prepared himself to have his photograph taken. it is not known wether or not this photograph was taken as one or as part of a series of head shots of David form diffrent perpectives. 

What is the light source within the image? is it natrual or artifical? what atmosphere or mood does this create?

This photograph has an artifical source of light coming in from the right hand side of the frame, the light is imatated into the right hand side of Davids face and the left side is very dark, there is also lots of shadow on both sides of his face. the areas which have small amounts of light create a dark mood within the Photograph, it reminds me of the Cinema poster for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 

Is the image colour or black and white? How does this affec your reading of the image? How would the work differ if it was changed from colour to black and white?

The image is in colour. the image i think that colour images look better in colour because i think it allows the viewer to be able to read more details from the photograph. however if the photograph was in black and white then i think that light source within the photograph would stand out more.

What is the scale of the work? is it small and intimate or large and dominating? 

In the photograph David Millar is the main subject matter and he dominates most of the frame. where as the background nageative spaces are much smaller and take up the sides of the frame. 

Who is the work presented is it framed, hung on wall, floor based? Why? What effect does this have? 

The work is hung up on the wall and is located within the Modern Portrait Exhibition on the first floor of the Gallery. because this Portrait Photograph is of a large scale print and is hanging on the wall. this allows the viewer to observe the photograph closely without moving their head or having to bend down or kneel in order to get a close look at it.

Is the work titled? How does the title affect the meaning of the work? What title would you give the work?.

The photograph does not have any spacific title to it. if you look at the statement beside the Phototograph it is simply titled as “David Millar (born 1977)” i dont think that this title would have any effect to the meaning of the work. The statement summerises David Millar’s background and his career as a Cyclist. if i had to give it a title it would be something like “Worked up a Sweat” I like that he has a sweaty look. 

Who might the image have been made by Why? Who for?

The photograph was taken by Nadav Kandar, he is a Photographer based in London, he is known for his portraits and landscapes and has taken portraits of famous faces such as Barrack Obama, Boris Johnson, Bill Gates and David Byrne. 

After Visiting the Gallery i did some futher reserch on David Millar and his Cycling Career and this photograph was actually used as the front cover for his 2011 biographical book “Racing Through the Dark :The Fall and Rise of David Millar”

What do you think the artist is trying to say? do you think they have communicated their ideas sucsessfully?

Having conducted more research on David Millar and now knowing exactly what the Photograph has been used for, It would make more sense why there is both light and dark in the Photograph. I think Nardav Kander is trying communicate the fact that david has enjoyed his time as a professional cyclist but he has had a lot of dark times throughout his Cycling Career as well. 

How Does the work make you feel?

This Photograph gives strong feelings of passion, determination and it also gives a sense of struggle.

Do you like or dislike the work? Why?

I like this work because of the light sourse that has been used and how David Millar is very much in focus. I also like the high definition of the photograph.

[comradecrossing]

hi do you have any tips/recs for someone who’s just starting new leaf? i had it a long time ago but i stopped playing, and now i want to start playing again but i don’t remember it well 🙈

Hi! This might be long but! When I restarted this last time I was worried it would get boring real fast like with my first save, so I planned out as much as I possibly could ahead of time.

Think of a theme that makes you happy! Do you love witchy/fairy things? A specific color? maybe a season? particular villager animal? Aliens??? If you can figure out a theme you can build around (and it can be ANYTHING) then you will have much more confidence when you first step foot in your new town!

Now I’m gonna use my town as reference, so, I really like the Witchy/Fairy aesthetic and I knew immediately thats what i was going to do. I’m bad at town names, but i like Pokemon and remembered they have a fairy town, so I looked it up and got my name and figured why stop there? That’s how Laverre City became one of my sole inspirations for my town. I was inspired to restart because of hackers so even though I cant hack, I think about things I might like to do, or really want to do when/if i ever can and i have some big ideas lol im so sad. So ultimately i settled on a fall themed town (not perpetual fall but looks best in fall and the dreamcode will be of the town in fall) with lots of pink cosmos and regular saplings to give off a resemblance to Laverre City :)I then looked at a lot of forest and dreamy type towns to get some inspiration like mushroom rings, layout ideas, and items or PWPs to use. I also checked sites like animal crossing wikia to make a list of PWPs I might like in my town and chose 30 possible options (you can only build 30) and check the space requirements.

Once I start for real with a vague idea of where I want to put things I look at all the maps available and if they don’t have specific traits i want (secret beach, desirable town tree location, diving cliff, ponds in places that wont get in the way of projects and landscaping ideas, good spot for the cafe, etc) I restart until a map comes up that I like. Once I arrive in town its time to check my native fruit and rock locations and make sure its up to my standards, and if a resident is important for you to have/not have make sure to check the map too!

Once you get a town you’re happy with and you’ve found the perfect place to call home its time to get serious >: |It’s time for your first shovel and axe.Now, I have always been anti-axe in previous games but this last save changed me. I got a hold of that first axe and chopped down every tree that wasn’t a southern cedar tree! (southern cedars are only possible at the start! If you plant them they’ll only grow in the North, thats the top half of your town.) Now your town will feel barren at first and this is the ugliest stage but also one of the funnest -imo- so lets open up your patterns and get started. Now that you have a blank canvas use your green & blue tiles to signify trees/bamboo and bushes, you can even redesign it and write “T” or “B” respectably and start laying them out. You can also use the Yellow to lay down where you want PWPs (make sure to surround two spaces further than the project requires. a 3x3 fountain should look more like a 5x5 area to ensure no one moves directly next to where you want to build). You should have lots of fruit piled up (remember to stack them) so you can layout bush tiles and plant fruit if you’d rather have a better idea of how its gonna look. I planted all my peaches and would later go back and replace certain ones with new fruit i acquired. Its good to have a “this is all a process” mindset because it will take a while to get your town done even if you time travel, but thats good! because the game is all about making your dream town!

So now you have a good amount of the town planned out and probably have some ideas of what to do next. The next few days will be spent checking out how things are growing and making sure you planted things in the right spots. if there’s anything you’re not liking - change it! Your town Your rules!

Now while you are waiting for things to grow and get pretty its time to gather aaaaaallllll the flowers you can find and organize them in a large free space so they are all diagonally touching (XXXX), this way you can get hybrids early on :)Make sure they are the same breed and check hybrid guides so you know which colors work best to make the hybrids you most want and make sure to water them everyday as they will wilt if you don’t have the beautiful ordinance. Hybrids are good to have for trades when you dont have much money.

After all this you should be off to a pretty good start. Try to keep in mind villagers you would like to have and try to make friends online or IRL that you can adopt from (I always post when i have some one leaving and who I am hoping to replace them with and I usually get an offer fairly quickly, even for villagers I was desperate to get out. No matter who they are someone likes them :)) But if your town is set up in a way that you’ll be devastated if your dreamie moves in that one perfectly made up spot, it might be a good idea to plot set &/ reset.Plot resetting is when you make a *NEW* character save to check and see if anyone moved in overnight, and more importantly, if they moved in an undesirable place. If this happens restart and select the new save option until the villager plots in a spot you like. Once they do that build your tent somewhere and save quit. This will make the new residents spot permanent and then you can select the new save once more and delete their home. This could take quite a while if you have lots of “open” space. “Open Space” is how I refer to non-tiled/pwp or house occupied areas and the way I go about this is covering my town in about 75% tiles and spacing out pwps to where there are as few places houses can plot in as possible. Houses wont build over tiles and will plot at least 2 spaces away from other buildings, rocks and projects and one away from clifs and ponds/rivers. They dont care however if there are trees, bamboo, items, bushes, or flowers so be sure to lay out tiles in any place at risk to being plotted on. I refer to this as “Plot Setting” as you can make 3x3 empty plots you surround with tiles which will help villagers know where to plot. If you do a good job and plot everything out just right, you’ll never have to worry about someone messing up your hard work.

Now here’s the kinda sucky part of ACNL and that is The Limitations.Annoying programmed rules that seem to only get in the way such as the 2-space rule between pwps/buildings. This can mess up your aesthetic a lot and sometimes you will have to completely replan things due to a small fact you may have overlooked or not noticed and suddenly your garden isnt looking right so im gonna name off the biggest hassles and how I have gotten around some of them.

Bush + tree + bush: You can line up 12 trees/bamboo and bushes in a line. This works both straight and diagonally. only 12. Now you can leave gaps in some places that will reset the count or do intricate designs like one cedar in the middle of 4 bushes, a line of bushes with trees spaced out directly behind, a pattern of bushes and chopped bamboo, etc get creative. Visiting others towns or looking at pics people post can help you get lots of ideas. Bushes can touch each other but trees & bamboo still have the one space between rule.

PWP 2-space rule: now I’ve already mentioned this a few times but this rule is always the one that I seem to forget when planning. YOU NEED TWO SPACES. I cant tell you how many times i have planned project locations weeks in advance only to not be able to lay them out as i wanted because I got the space requirement wrong or only left one space between other objects :/

Beach Rules: You may have seen cool towns with pwps, cedar trees and hibiscus bushes scattered around their beach and Ive got some bad news; Those are hacked towns. The only thing that can be planted on the beach naturally is coconut and banana trees, flowers, and clovers. Nothing grows on the beach, not even weeds. No pwps can be built there either, even though it was initially programmed to be possible. I currently use the space for hybrid breeding since i have no space to elsewhere ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tear Down and Build Up: I will say though that even though only maybe 15% of my original plans came to life, my town looks way better than i had ever imagined it would. Don’t be afraid to tear things down and try out different locations or setups you might figure something out that looks amazing compared to your original plans.

Finally, while you can participate in the Happy Home Ratings, you dont have too. Decorate how ever the flip you want. Find new things to do everyday as the game can get old fast and you might get temped to Timetravel (which isnt a bad thing if thats what you want to do, but be careful you dont lose your villagers/flowers! Even though I have the Beautiful ordinance, I water all my flowers incase they pop out a hybrid. I try to earn all the badges, I visit dreamtowns for inspiration, redesign areas of my town, farm PWPs, make patterns, try hunting down items to decorate my house with, etc, this is another area where having a theme can help as you will find inspiration easier, and make you feel more immersed like you’re playing an RPG.

I’ve gone on a lot here and I have more to add but I’ve spent over an hour typing this, but let me know if you have any other questions or need clarification on anything :) I’m not gonna add pics rn but if you need photo reference send another message and I will address it separately and add it here later.

Now heres a bunch of links to help you get invested:MoriBD - A catalog of every in-game item and an option to make a wishlistHybrid Guide - By @nooklingPWP GuideVillager Adoption Further Info on Plot ResettingPWP Farming Towns/interiors I found inspirationalSome QRsHacking info (if youre interested)How to upload your screenshots & Make your screenshot pretty!

Pick the right face when you startOnce you get the QR reader (talk to sable 7 days) you can use these

Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help :)Just putting it out there too, I am always happy to help people get whatever they want/need for no cost whether it be fruits, bamboo, mushrooms, items, hybrids, etc, I will always do what I can to help you out, whether you’re just starting or on your 5th year.

[abinghospital]

She~

Some days I wake up feeling like I am enough to fill the void inside my chest.

Some days I rest, drink my coffee and stay in bed. Feeling like I cant face the world when my make-up cant conceal, these wounds I cant heal. When these clothes cant hide the ugliness inside, tied to my life like a twin I couldn’t let go.

But, I know; I am equal parts beauty and beast.

A mist you couldnt see through, a maze to complete. A monster to meet, but a princess too. It’s true.

I know I am pretty but I just couldnt help but wish I was prettier enough to take risks for.

Pretty as

She, the center of attention.

She, with the kind smile and perfect curls and twirls like a whirlwind when she walks;

sophisticatedly swaying her hips.

She is a force to be reckoned with. Unstoppable. Stomping around. The sound of her clicking high heels, a warning of the storm she brings with her.

She is a catastrophe. But the kind everyone would go through just for the experience, or a taste of her sins.

She, a living portrait of glamour and elegance. Her stance, spectacular statesque, symbolizing sophistication in her splendid simplicity.

She, with her well-polished nails and candle-like fingers you’d think her touch can evaporate fears. Or tears.

She, that glows in the dark

Like the stickers glued at my childhood ceiling, suspended in the darkness.

Her eyes, dangling like stars in a sky so moonless, so bright and beautiful.

She is beautiful.

Body banging. Effortless. Electric.

Her confidence an armour.

She is a warrior. Bold and brave, brazen and beautiful.

I wish I was beautiful.

Beautiful like she is. Beautiful like this.

Beautiful as her as I am insecure.

I for invisible, never the invincible.

Like restaurant tables for one.

Sometimes, a blazing sun. Not the light but a sight so impossible to look at.

I who only looks good in one damn polo.

And always solo, solitary, single, sad, seeking solace and sympathy from strangers who cant even look me in the eyes without their lies beginning to arise in the look of their faces even before their lips start to move.

And they would say,

“You are beautiful, just the way you are.”

But the mirror only shows me a figure of scars and marks that remind me of the wars I never won. My legs, my arms, every detail is wrong. Either too small or too big. Cant stop myself from asking, “Why the fuck wont this fit?”

But I still squeeze myself inside people live’s anyway, like tight jeans or a jacket they no longer need because thats what I’m good at.

They tell me,

“You are a living poetry, your words expessed in such eloquence, I could feel the pain in them.”

But all I see in my eyes is a wasteland of tries. Seeds that didnt grow into trees and hopes that failed to sail. But this has always been the case.

I wish I was never born in the first place in a body that doesnt feel like home. I am tired of being alone on Saturday nights and Sundays mornings, thinking if this body was a drawing, a collection of shadows and curves lying flat on a forgotten canvas, I swear, I’d tear myself in halves like a wet paper. Erase some parts that I dont think matters.

Like these arms, why are they even here if theyre gonne feel this empty? This heart that beats and exists for all the wrong people. This lungs, so full of smoke, because the only way I could breathe is through the heat of a cigarette eased into this frozen lips, I myself would never kiss.

Until there is nothing left but bad poetry, apologies and dead flesh, a mess of this one huge mistake and fake excuse of human existence.

Unlike she, with the one-shot perfect selfie.

But to be honest, she is blameless in all this.

I, with the countless tries, every click is a cry of the inhibitions I chose to hide and dismiss.

I am the antagonist of this sad story where I could never be good enough for anybody because I am never good enough for myself; Without these insecurities eating me whole, screams of self-doubt I couldnt control. This devil in my head that I couldnt contain with my lipgloss smile and mental chains.

I wish I was as pretty as she is, as her,

but I figured, trying to copy somebody is something I cannot even do successfully.

So maybe, next time, I’ll just try to be me.

[goldenchildkatsuki]

i dont read a lot of fanfiction and idek if its a fanfiction trope but. i dare u to turn one of them into a yandere

boom, done my friend!

Summary: Bakugou and Uraraka have been invited to have lunch with Bakugou’s dad, his boss and his kid. Uraraka was not very fond of Bakugou’s clothing choice.

Writers Note: I asked on Tumblr to send a cliché fanfiction trope in my ask box and I would make a decent Kacchako drabble out of it. This is for the first ask I received, someone DARED me to turn one of them into a yandere which is a trope I had been thinking about writing for a long time. I chose to not write anything too extreme, like abuse or gorey murder but chose to go with my (softer) take of a yandere. And of course it was too cliché to turn Bakugou into a yandere so….

I hope this wasn’t too OOC lmao

Word count: 2.426

AO3 link: (x)

UNDER THE WHITE COLLAR

From his bed she watched him move around the room, patiently waiting for him finish dressing up. His hair was still damp and sticking to his forehead and some strands met his eyelashes. With a groan he would wipe his sweat away whilst rummaging in drawers and piles of dirty laundry.

Uraraka could watch this for hours on end and never even feel the slightest hint of boredom. She would try not to blink for the longest time, to not miss anything of the film that was Bakugou Katsuki.

“Your belt is still unbuckled.”

“I know.”

“You only got one sleeve rolled up.”

“I’m working on it for fuck sakes!” he slightly raised his voice out of frustration, not being able to find a particular clothing item he had been looking for this entire time.

Bakugou walked back to a drawer he had opened at least three times before and opened it again. He kneeled down and swiped his hair back in a smooth motion. Uraraka watched him dig to the back of the drawer and then take out a navy blue tie. He threw it over his shoulder as they dropped from relief and stood up. Uraraka held her breathe as he walked up the mirror above his desk and fixed his hair.

“Ochako, how long do we have left before we need to walk to the station?” Bakugou asked as he ruffled his hair.

The question was not reciprocated, his voice being blocked out by her heartbeat that was echoing in her ears. Feeling the drum throughout her whole body, almost feeling sick as her body temperature started rising with every second that passed. Anxiously she peered at the tie, almost falling from Bakugou’s shoulder.

“Uraraka?”

“What do you need a tie for darling?”

She placed her feet on the cold floor, wiggling her toes impatiently. Uraraka tried to make eye contact with him in the mirror but the boy kept averting his gaze, looking upwards at the strands of hair that weren’t in place. He was thinking, picking out the right words to say. He audibly swallowed, making the tension weigh even heavier in the room.

“My old man suggested I should wear one. Look, I don’t like dressing up for 2 hours of unnecessary chit chat alright but it’s his boss and his kid that are joining us. So, I get why that nervous wreck wants me to look all nice.” His words came out rather smoothly for someone that had to wipe his palms on the back of his pants.

Bakugou gave his hair one more ruffle before giving up on it and facing Uraraka, who stayed silent. Still wiggling her toes she looked at his tie. Slowly a look of distaste clouded her face, with a wrinkled nose stuck up in the air and furrowed brows she watched Bakugou wrap one end of the tie around his neck.

“It’s just a tie Ochako, fuck! Aren’t girl supposed to like dressed up boys?”

Uraraka’s face clouded even more. She couldn’t handle the tone of his voice. Why did push her feelings aside? He knew exactly how she felt. It wasn’t just a tie. And she did like seeing him all dressed up. But only when it’s all for her. Bakugou was a film only she was allowed to watch. A private showcasing only she could get tickets to. Where she can shamelessly pin him till her eyes go dry and her version goes hazy.

Bakugou propped the collar of his white dress shirt and adjusted his tie. “Can you get over it and help me for a second? I haven’t done this in a while.”

Uraraka stood up from the bed and walked over to him as he buttoned up his white dress shirt to the top. She could feel her blood boiling and her sweat get cold. She tried to soften the muscles in her face, but couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth from twitching slightly and her nostrils from flaring. At this point her heart was going to give in, it was skipping beats as if it could give out at any moment. She felt so sick. ‘Lovesick’ she called this feeling. Uraraka didn’t mind it feeling this way. It was a sign of true love after all. If your partner didn’t make you come close to feeling like your heart is about to give out then do you really care about them? Do you truly love them?

She held on to both ends of the tie and gripped them tightly. “I like it when you leave a few buttons open, like you always do.” She pulled him closer with every word.

Bakugou chuckled at her. “You know I can’t do that.” His gaze traveled down from her eyes, to her lips, to her hands. He quickly met her eyes again, noticing how white her knuckles were from the strong grip.

“Your dad only suggested it. Don’t you want to show each other off? Don’t you want to show off the fact that your mine?” Uraraka laughed, trying to relieve some of the tension that was still in the air. There was no need for him to tip toe around. They were on one line. He knew exactly what she wanted from him and what he needed to do. It couldn’t be that he was shy could it? Prideful, overconfident and arrogant Bakugou wouldn’t even have the word ‘shy’ in his dictionary. But then why were all nine of his button still up? Maybe her laughter wasn’t enough to relieve the tension and sway him. Maybe she wasn’t enough. To make her stop herself from entering a dark part of her mind Uraraka repeated her question.

“Don’t you want to show off the fact that your mine?”

Bakugou put his hands on hers and looked her in the eye, the look of sternness in his face threw her off. “Look Ochako. Of fucking course I want to do that. But it’s my dad’s boss we’re meeting. Good impressions aside, my dad will abso-fucking-lutely loose his mind when he sees that shit.” His hands slid down to her wrists. “Besides, having such a knock-out of a girl with me isn’t hard to show off, showing each other off is the least of our worries.” He tried to reassure her.

Uraraka pushed their bodies closer together and pouted. “I bought a new dress, I curled my hair, I did my make-up, I tried to look as pretty as I can for you. So you would be proud to have me next to you, hold my hand and show me off. Now, how am I going to show you off?”

Bakugou smirked. “I dressed up too you know. And you can always hold my hand.”

She let an end of the tie slip out of her hand as she pulled at the other end, right from under his collar. “I could do that yes, but would that be enough? I mean, you have a menacing face that can tell other people: ‘don’t touch her, she’s mine.’ I’m nearly not that intimidating…”

She paused and stared at the veins in Bakugou’s neck. “…So how can I say ‘don’t touch him.’?” Bakugou hands slid down to her forearms as she raised her hands to the top button of the dress shirt, fingers hovering above it as she looked up at the gallant boy.

“Ochako.”

“Darling.”

With a single finger she traced the edge of the button and waited for him to continue speaking. But the small distance between them and the hypnotizing movement of her finger left him speechless and flustered.

“Don’t be shy. You’re breaking my heart when you’re like this.” Uraraka said in a low voice. “But don’t worry,” she said as she started to undo the first button. “I’ll make it so you can’t shy away from me, leave a mark or two, so you and others know who you belong to.”

Bakugou’s pupils dilated as her fingers brushed his skin. “We can’t-“

Uraraka continued to pop two more buttons open as she watched him give into her subtle demands. After opening the third button she placed her lips right under his collar bone and started sucking on his skin. She felt his unsteady breathe under her lips and couldn’t help but smile. After making sure she left a mark she lifted her head and wiped the now bruised patch of skin clean with her thumb.

“You love me right?” Uraraka let the tie fall to the floor and placed her hand on the back of his neck.

“You know I do.” He breathed next to her ear.

“Since when have you become so scared of showing it?”

Uraraka moved towards his shoulder, only having moved inches away from the first bruise and left another one on Bakugou’s skin, this time she was satisfied with the color the bruise had started to take. A deep shade of fuchsia. Passion made Bakugou jerk under her lips, a deep sigh leaving his body as she cleaned off the love bite again. She watched Bakugou adjust himself, keeping himself from shaking as his fingers struggled to unbutton the rest of his shirt.

“Listen. Back of the neck. Not above the collar. Got it?”

“You’ve lost your say in this moments ago.” a malicious smiled appeared on her face as she watched Bakugou undress himself. He turned around and revealed her canvas to her. His back was filled with bruises and scratch marks she had left on him. Most of the bruises had started to fade or had turned into an interesting mix of colors. She loved the bites that had turned yellow, it made her feel proud of her work because it lasted on his body for so long. The scratch marks from morning were still visible, his skin still being swollen and slightly irritated. She traced the long red lines coming from right in between his shoulders blades to right in between his back dimples, which was one of her favorite places to mark him. It left him begging for more of her and completely weak at the knees.

She loved the reaction of others when Bakugou’s shirt lifts when he yawns or when he forgets to button up properly. First a look of confusion on their faces, followed with wide eyes and an unhinged jaw from surprise and an uneasy crooked smile on a red face to end it with. If she ever caught a different reaction from people, if they didn’t have that reaction and seemed to have gained the slightest bit more interest in him, her whole mood would turn sour. She wished to hurt those people. Whilst still knowing it was morally wrong she hadn’t dare hurt or even confront anyone for possibly lusting over someone that was out their reach. Instead she projected the frustration out on Bakugou, leaving more and more marks on him to show people how impossible it was to take away her canvas, it was full and there was no room for others. He was hers and hers alone. Her film, her canvas, her love.

Uraraka chose a spot in the curve going from his neck to his shoulder and decided to revive the color in an old bruise. She placed her nails on his tough and muscled back and moved upwards and to the front, right below his ear and continued working on her masterpiece. Now making her tongue slide over his skin as she sucked, making him shudder and throw his head back.

“Fuck Ochako, I said not above the god damn collar didn’t I? He groaned towards the ceiling.

Uraraka pressed down her nails and moved her lips to under his jaw. A growl escaped Bakugou’s mouth as she started sucking harder than she did before, intending to make the bruise large and dark color. She felt a tingling sensation on her tongue, it slightly hurt but she kept going. Bakugou let out a small wince and put a hand on the back of her head.

“Shit, that one kinda hurt.”

“Now you know how I felt.” Her voice sounded intense, feelings of lust battling with the anger and the slight heartache that was still inside her body. ‘

Uraraka’s nails traveled down his back, not digging in too hard so she wouldn’t open up the scars from the morning. Her lips brushing along her jaw as she kept choosing new places to create dark bites. Leaving a small kiss after every new addition to her masterpiece.

Eventually she faced Bakugou again. The sweat on his forehead had reappeared and she could read hunger of his lips. He looked so beautiful when he was trying to contain himself like that. She couldn’t decide what was more interesting; having him in the palm of her hand or letting him take over. Both ideas left her feeling impure and bothered. Making sure he wouldn’t combust right there and then she took her time to wipe the saliva of the trail of purple supernova like bruises.

He looked so beautiful it hurt.

So beautiful that she didn’t want to go out, that she didn’t want to share his looks. She wanted him all for herself and keep on painting her canvas. Carve her initials into his skin, suck every blood cell to the surface, make him her own piece of art.

“I think this says more than ‘don’t touch him.’” Bakugou breathed, frustration still hanging of his lips.

“That was the point.”

“So, are you happy now?”

“Very.” Uraraka smiled at him.

She stepped away and let Bakugou pick his shirt and tie up from the floor started to dress himself again. She watched his muscles relax as he had accepted that this was not the time for him to shudder below him. It was about him. Uraraka wasn’t the one who needed love and affection at that point, she didn’t need a reminder. She never really did either way. The mutual understanding they created around this was more than satisfactory.

Bakugou grumbled when he couldn’t fix his tie, Uraraka lifted his chin and did it for him, smiling proudly as she saw what she had done. Bakugou turned to the mirror and lifted his chin.

“Somehow I thought it wasn’t thát bad, but fucking hell was I wrong.”

He pressed on the love bites and squinted as they still hurt.

“My old man can never look at me the same way again after this stupid lunch.”

“At least he knows that you’re loved.”

[glass-ladybug]

home enough chapter 3

Gregg drummed his fingers on the wheel, humming to himself as he waited for the light to change. Since the Gas Station Fiasco, they’d been driving for roughly three hours. The highways were full of traffic, which meant they were full of stopping and starting. Bea had already gotten out to smoke more than once, cursing traffic blocks loudly as she came back inside. The light was fading, and the Indiana sky was a burst of vivid colors, the setting sun turning the blue to a rainbow of orange, red, and pink, casting gold on everything it touched.

Possum Springs didn’t even come close.

Since they were out of good ol’ rural America, Angus could actually get signal on his phone, which meant he was all cuddly in the backseat with Netflix.

Well, /good for him/, Gregg snarked to himself, peeved that he was still driving. The three of them had been rotating positions- Mae was left out, as she didn’t have a license, and in Bea’s words, there was ‘no way in Hell Mae is ever permitted to have that much responsibility’.

The shorter girl had seemed rather hurt, but Gregg was pretty sure Bea was just concerned for her truck. Not that he himself was much of a step up in the responsibility ladder.

He never really interacted with Bea all that much. After all, he’d only really known her through Mae, and, even then, until she replaced Casey in the band-

/No./ Gregg tightened his grip on the wheel, jerking it sharply to the right. She didn’t replace Casey. She only took his position as drummer.

Gregg shoved those thoughts to the side, and cranked up 'Under The Sea’ for the thousandth time.

Even though the two never hung out, looking at the girl staring wistfully out the window, he could safely call her a friend. He’d gained an entirely new respect for her after what happened down in the mines. She’d put her life on the line for Mae, fighting off the cult like that, and anyone who cared that much about his best friend was good in his book.

Besides, if Bea wasn’t straight, Gregg would /definitely/ wager that-

Mae tapped Angus on the shoulder. “Hey, Angus. Aaaangusss.”

Gregg’s boyfriend took off his ear buds, placing them neatly in his lap. “…Yes?”

“What are you watching?”

Angus paused the video. “How It’s Made.”

Mae unclipped her seat belt, and slid over to Angus’s side of the car. “Can I watch?”

A smile tugged slightly at the edge of Angus’s lips. “Only if you put your seatbelt back on.”

Grumbling, Mae slid the seatbelt closest to Angus over her head, accepting the proffered ear bud.

From the passenger seat, Bea called back to them. “Why don’t you put on something we /all/ can hear?” Gregg silently agreed. Disney music, no matter how undeniably good it was, was starting to grate on his nerves after four hours.

Angus scrunched up his eyebrows. “Like what?”

Exasperated, Bea rested her head against the cool glass window, rolling it down slightly. A calm breeze gently blew through the truck, although it was accompanied by the noises of honking cars and squealing tires. “I don’t know. Something other than this.”

Gregg grinned, a smug smile spreading over his face. “All Angus listens to is emo music.”

His boyfriend’s only reaction was a small flush of color springing up on his brown cheeks.

“Well,” Angus said, tapping a finger to his chin, “Gregg listens to dubstep.”

Gregg immediately froze in place, much to the amusement of Mae, who was cackling in the background.

“Yeah, whatever! Watch your damn Netflix show!” Gregg spluttered.

A small, slightly triumphant smile settled on Angus’s face as he angled the phone for Mae to see.

——–

The night sky was a deep blue expanse above them, stars glittering faintly as if embroidered with silver thread into the canvas of the night. The brightly glowing windows against the blue reminded Bea distinctly of-

“Fireflies.” Mae murmured, half-asleep on Angus’s shoulder. ((remember to link in the end))

Bea smiled gently at her friend. “Yeah. That’s what I thought, too.”

The four rode in silence, Gregg tapping away at his phone in the passenger’s seat, Angus listening to music, Mae curled up into a ball, her eyes only barely open, and Bea, driving. Moonlight cascaded through the car windows, illuminating Mae’s face and head in a silver light.

Suddenly, in the quiet space, Bea felt incredibly lonely.

She turned to Angus, who saw her gaze and quickly removed his headphones. “I think Chicago will have to wait until morning.” She remarked dryly.

A flicker of disappointed crossed Angus’s brown eyes. “So we stop at a hotel?”

“I guess so.”

Angus looked longingly out the window. “We’re only a half-hour away…”

“Unless you want to hit up a nightclub, there’s not much we can do.”

He sighed, returning to his music. Bea pushed the car a bit further against the traffic. They continued in silence, and Bea was thrilled when they pulled into the driveway of a rundown little motel at the edge of Merrillville, just outside of Chicago. The neon 'Open’ sign blinked fuzzily, and Bea felt as if the whole ordeal wasn’t quite real.

Bea slowed the car, the purring motor coming to a stop. She turned to look at Mae, whose black hair was ruffled messily across her face, still awash in the pocket of moonlight as she slept against Angus’s side. “Is she…?” ((is all mae’s touchy-feeliness with angus too out there??? i dont want it to have any romantic implications))

Angus nodded. “Completely out.”

Bea began to move over, the door popping open with a shove from her hip.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ve got her.” Angus gently slid an arm under Mae’s back, lifting her up like a doll. Mae didn’t seem to notice.

“Angus, she can walk-”

He laughed. “It’s fine. She’d throw a fit if we woke her up now.”

Bea yanked her keys out with a huff, chin held high as she led the four into the dingy motel.

———

Angus guiltily ignored the employee’s 'you’ve got to be kidding me’ look as they entered.

Calm down, Angus. You’re not doing anything wrong. Just… cradling a passed out girl, and asking for a hotel key at 10:23 p.m.

On that subject, Angus felt he was slightly indebted to Mae. She’d made mistakes in the past, and caused fights between himself and Gregg, but she was really making an effort this trip. All she wanted was for her friends to be happy, and Angus couldn’t think of a better goal. She’d tried very hard to include him, and if Angus could pay her back, even in this childish, tiny way, he’d do it. Sure, he still had his doubts about the wiseness of his the plan, but he was willing to give it a shot. ((this is kinda a mess, clean it up later.))

He didn’t know why Bea was getting so huffy over it, though.

The employee looked pointedly between him, and the girl in his arms, her eyes looking uncertainly for an answer.

“She’s only asleep.” Great, Angus. Way to sound like a serial killer.

The woman, obviously too tired and underpaid to deal with this, rubbed her eyes. “Hi, welcome to Econo Lodge, what can I get for you?”

“A double room please. Four people.”

“That’s thirty-five dollars.”

Bea turned to Gregg, nodding in approval. “So /that’s/ why you insisted we stay here.”

Gregg grinned. “What can I say? I’m an economist.”

Bea opened her wallet, and Angus shifted Mae slightly so he could grab his. Bea counted out the bills, and pushed them to the concierge. “I’ve got it. My treat.”

Gregg shook his head adamantly, and the woman paused, wavering over the money. “No, seriously-”

“Yeah. Save up for your wedding, or whatever.” Bea took the key, thanking the employee.

“D'awww.” Gregg simpered.

“Stairs or elevator?”

Angus gave Bea a deadpan stare.

“Right. Elevator.”

They loaded in, Gregg eagerly pressing the button for the second floor.

Unfortunately, Mae chose that moment to wake up. She stretched, stiffening as the elevator jolted beneath her. Bea saw the warning signs a split second before they occurred, but was powerless to stop them. Her eyes widened, pure terror filling them as she clutched onto Angus’s shirt so tensely that her knuckles turned white.

Gregg immediately dashed to his best friend’s side, prying her hands off his boyfriend’s shirt, and encasing them in his. “Hey, yo, it’s okay! We’re fine! We’re at a hotel right now.” He reassured her. His voice wavered when she didn’t respond at all.

Mae still looked deathly afraid, and something clicked for Bea.

Waking up disoriented, being carried by Angus, and stuck in a creaky elevator all would undoubtedly add up to one thing in Mae’s head: The Mines.

Bea quickly moved over to Mae, her dark eyes meeting Mae’s light ones. “We’re here. Indiana. We’re not back there, Mae. It’s just us. Only us.”

The elevator came to a halt, its doors snapping open with an ill-placed ding. Angus moved out of the elevator as quickly as possible.

Mae looked at him, her eyes losing some of their terrifying, animalistic quality. “I… You can put me down, now.” Angus obliged.

She stood, teetering, but more stable. “I’m okay.” She gave them a weak smile. “Haha, that was kinda stupid, wasn’t-”

“No,” Gregg interrupted, an uncharacteristic solemnity in his voice, “It’s not at all.” ((too dramatic???)) ———

The four entered their room, Mae launching herself at one of the beds, its springs squeaking beneath her. For $35, Mae had to say it was pretty decent. The fading and chipped yellow walls didn’t detract too much, nor did the garish, scratchy orange sheets, and lack of amenities. Gregg already had begun his plans to steal the mini toiletries, but Angus looked troubled.

Mae frowned. “You okay?”

“There’s only two.”

“Huh?” Mae looked in the direction Angus was pointing, bewildered.

Two beds. Each a decent size, but there were still only two. One for Gregg and Angus, and that left…

One for herself and Bea.

Mae heaved a sigh, the bed creaking as she stood up. “I’ll sleep in the bathtub.”

Bea rolled her eyes. “No, you’re not.”

Bea paced around the room, throwing down her duffle bag in agitation. “I /specifically said/, four people! They didn’t even give us an extra cot!”

“At least there’s a TV?” Gregg offered, his pockets full of mini soaps.

Bea glared at him, and resumed her pacing.

“It’s not a big deal, Bea. I can make a bed. We’ve got blankets, a couple extra pillows-”

“No, Mae.”

“Okay, I’ll use the chair then, either one-”

“You can have the bed. I’ll call the front desk and ask for a rollaway bed.”

Gregg spoke up, dangling a shiny brochure between his fingers. “Uh, unless you wanna pay another twenty bucks, then we’re out of luck.”

Bea rubbed her face, and began unpacking. “Then I guess we’re sharing a bed, Mae.”

Mae felt her heart freeze. “Uh-”

“We did it when we were kids. Not much of a difference now, right?”

“Yeah. Right.” Mae hoped to any and all of the gods that no one was noticing the flush that was creeping up her neck.

Bea gathered up a bundle of clothes, holding them against her chest, departing into the slightly grimy hotel bathroom to shower.

“Well, I’m gonna go get changed!” Mae said hurriedly, snatching her clothes messily from her bag in a flurry. She sprinted to the only private place in their room- a small, musty little closet with a few stray hangers.

How ironic.

Mae shoved her head into her hands, her choppy dark hair falling over her eyes. She did /not/ have feelings for Bea. She didn’t! And, if she did, (which she absolutely positively did not!) Bea definitely didn’t reciprocate. Bea was exclusively attracted to males, and Mae was… not exactly fantastic date material. At all. Unless your ideal girlfriend was a clumsy college dropout with anger issues and a tendency to attack things.

But still. The way her eyes brightened when she laughed, and how her dark curls swept across her brow-

/No./

And yet, a tiny fragment of her brain still called out in protest. /But what if?/ it asked.

Mae slumped in the dark space.

A sharp rap echoed on the wood doors, and Gregg’s high voice dug a wedge into her silence. “Hey, you okay in there? If you don’t come out soon, you’re gonna miss the end of 'Cutthroat Kitchen’. And, seriously, this guy has to make cordon bleu with /blue cookies/! It’s some crazy shit, man.”

Mae lauhed, stopping Gregg’s rambling. “Nice, dude. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Mae waited to hear Gregg’s footsteps, but he didn’t leave.

“Did you, like, forget to bring pants or something? Cuz’, I can grab you a pair if you need-”

Mae cut Gregg off. “No! I’m fine. Just taking a while.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever, dude. Come out when you’re ready.”

Mae hastily slid on her pajamas, which consisted of a t-shirt and shorts, tossing her dirty clothes onto the closet floor.

“Welcome back to the world of the living!” Gregg called out sarcastically. He and Angus were laying together, Gregg cuddled up to his boyfriend’s side, his head laying comfortably on his chest, moving up and down slightly with every breath.

Mae threw herself at the bed, burrowing under the soft linen. Hotels were such surreal places. So many people had, and would come and go, and not a single one left any indication that they had once been here. Mae nudged further into the covers.

At that moment, the bathroom door creaked open, and Bea emerged, toweling off her damp hair. Her dark brown skin had a warm glow to it, and her usually scrunched up black hair hung loosely across her shoulders. She draped the towel over a hook, sitting down next to Mae on the bed.

“Gregg, can I have the remote?”

“Nah, dude! I gotta finish my episode!”

Bea snorted, and slid underneath the covers, folding them neatly at the edges. Mae was painfully aware of how close they were.

Yeah. Totally platonic. Absolutely-positively. ((yes ik that’s repetition it’s intended))

Applause echoed through the grainy speakers as the winner was given their earnings, and Gregg tossed the remote to Bea.

“What are you gonna watch?”

“House Of Cards.”

Mae’s jaw dropped. “/Seriously/?”

“I like this kind of stuff.”

“Isn’t it about, like, politics and shit?”

“Pretty much. It’s supposed to exhibit how corrupt the government is, and how big money and businesses own today’s media, and use unsavory tactics to reach their-”

Gregg groaned loudly from across the room, causing Bea to toss a pillow in his general direction.

Mae hummed to herself, noticing that Bea’s hair smelled vaguely of cinnamon. It was nice, being away from home. Nothing was quite real out here. Every unexpected change a new adventure rather than a setback, every fork in the path a new opportunity. With the four of them together under the brilliant night, Mae could almost pretend it would last forever.

The lamp clicked off beside her, and Mae felt Bea shift over, turning toward the wall. Mae could just barely hear Gregg and Angus murmuring to each other as she sank into her pillow.

“Night, Cap'n.” Gregg said, hugging Angus.

Angus nuzzled his boyfriend. “Goodnight, Bug.”

Mae spoke up drowsily, her voice barely above a whisper. “See ya tomorrow, Bea-Bea.”

There was a beat of prolonged silence, and the only noise Mae could hear was Bea’s steady breathing.

“Until then, May-Day.”

CHAPTER END